Fuck poker and the lucky bastards who play it.

I am so fucking over this shit. I know that because I have been complaining more in the last two months about this stupid ass game then I have in my 7 years of playing. I could have easily predicted what was going to happen over the last 3 days before it even happened. It's the same shit every fucking time.

Every time in my poker career that I have either hit a milestone or am about to hit a milestone the same thing happens every time. I go on a fucking downswing.

On Monday I dropped $700 in the first 30 minutes of playing only to finish down only $250 for the day. So ridiculously standard. You will probably never see me write that I made $700 in 30 minutes. That will only happen when I start playing a $1000 buyin game. But that will only happen when I stop running bad at NL100. At my last count, I have played about 120K hands of NL100 and am an overall loser. I know who all the good players are in the game. I know who to stay away from and I know who the big fish are. I have realized some leaks in my game and some errors in my play and I have worked on correcting them. I have even stepped up limits and adopted some of the strategies of the players who I consider to be better then me.

The result:

Take a look at these 3 hands that I played perfectly.

Hero is dealt A 7. Both players in the hand have about $120.

Hero raises to $3.50. Villain calls. Other players call.

Flop A 8 7 flushing.

Hero bets $10. Villain calls.

Turn 2 offsuit.

Hero bets $23. Villain raises to $46. Hero goes all-in. Villain calls.

Hero shows A 7 for two pair. Villain shows A K for a pair of Aces.

River 8.

Fuck the world. I never hit when behind with one card to come yet it happens to me every fucking day.

Hand 2: (This was today. I know for a fact I am good player for the way this played out. But being a good player doesn't mean shit since its all luck anyway and the numbers that they claim to be concrete really don't mean shit.)

Both players have full stacks.

Hero is dealt 6 6.

Villain raises to $3.50. Hero calls.

Flop

K 6 7

Hero checks, Villain checks.

Turn 9

Hero bets $7. Villain raises to $18. Warning bells are going off in my head. Villain has a straight or a set of kings. Proceed with extreme caution. Hero calls.

River 2

Hero checks. Villain bets $16. Hero calls.

Hero shows 6 6 three of a kind 6's
Villain shows K K three of a kind kings.

Every time I have been involved in a set over set where I got screwed this is exactly how it has played out every single time. I knew exactly what he had and lost the minimum. I pat myself on the back for that one.

Hand 3

Limped pot. Both players have full stack. Hero is in BB

Hero is dealt 6 4

Flop

A 6 4 flushing.

Hero bets $4. Villain raises to $12. Hero calls.

Turn x flush hits.

Hero checks. Villain checks.

River 8 off.

Hero checks. Villain bets $15. Hero calls.

Villain shows 6 6 three of a kind 6's
Hero shows 6 4 two pair.

Gee, another fucking cooler. Once again I could have gone crazy and lost my whole stack but I didn't.

The last two hands are from today. Too start my session the first hand I was dealt was A A and I got cracked by Q 10 and 9 9. I folded on the river. Then I picked up J J and had to fold on the turn after 3-betting preflop.

Then those 2 that I just talked about and about 5 others that are similar happened and someway somehow I didn't lose $700.

Then this gem happened.

Villain and I played a big pot earlier. About $120. I had a set and he hit his gutshot on the turn. Jesus.

I have $140. Villain covers.

Hero is dealt A K

Hero raises to $3.50. Villain calls with others.

A x x all clubs. I have the K of clubs.

Hero bets $10. Villain raises to $20. Hero raises to $50. Villain calls.

Turn blank.

Hero goes all in for $71. Villain calls.

Hero shows A K for a pair of Aces.
Villain shows 10 10 for a pair of tens.

Someway somehow I dodged the river and avoided losing a hand where I am favored to win some 3% of the time.

After all that, I am only down $130 on the day. I should be down close to $1000 but I am so use to getting sucked out that I basically just fold every time a decent player gives me any kind of resistance.

I have also set up an account with an online e-wallet and just initiated my first cashout. $1000 is being pulled out of my account as we speak. I don't believe in cashout curses because I can't run any worse then I am now. In fact, I am using reverse psychology because maybe they will let me run better so I don't leave.

I know I'm fucking stupid but I can't help it because I am so tired of being pissed off all the time. I don't really want to play this game anymore but I am going to keep at it because it is what I am best at and I have certain financial goals that will never be attained unless I play this stupid game of luck.