An honest look at how 08 is coming along. Shoot me now please.

Oh, where do I begin? 2007 was a really shitty year for a lot of different reasons. Sure there were good things that happened throughout the course of the year but it seems that the bad greatly outweighed the good. Who knows, maybe I am just a really negative person.

I get really spiritual about the New Year when it comes around and this year was no different. I get more excited about January 1st then I do my birthday or Christmas combined. Even though its all just numbers and figures, it feels so nice to start from scratch. At least that's how I perceive it.

I was at a party for New Years and was with a buddy and some other people that we know and about 8 seconds into the New Year I was popped right between the eyes with a flying cork that had ricocheted off a wall somewhere. I immediately felt sick to my stomach as I felt that was a really bad omen of things to come. I try not to think like that but I couldn't help it. I told my buddy who was standing right next to me what had just happened and he just laughed and kind of shrugged it off. To be honest, I couldn't get it out of my mind the rest of the night.

Granted it was entirely my fault, but only 36 hours later I was pinched for reckless driving. Go me for being really stupid.

I would say that out of this entire year, only one good thing has happened to me. Dom finally came through because on February 22 2008 I got into my own place. It's like the 12th time I have moved in the last 3-4 years and like only the 4th-5th time in the last few months. To say that my life is in full blown chaos mode would be a complete understatement.

Poker of course couldn't be worse. I took a look at my graphs before the year started and although its quite far-fetched considering the limits that I play I wanted to be at $100,000 profit at the end of the new year. I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to do it but I was confident in my abilities that it could be done.

As of right now, I am down for the year in poker. I don't know the exact numbers and at this point I don't really care to know.

Actually scratch that.

I am up for the year in the cash games but the tournaments have made me a loser overall.

2008 couldn't be shittier. I have registered 15 wins against 26 losses. Wow, I just realized that for the first time. That is truly awful. I am winning at a 36.5% clip for the new Year. I have definitely set a new standard for losing at poker. I guess the same can almost be said for other aspects of my life however I am not going to get into that any more then I already have.

My recent high-point was when I won 3 sessions in a row for wins of over $300. That is really pathetic. Even worse then that, it was the first time that I had achieved such a feet since late November of 07.

Of course, the world has to balance itself out and I went on to lose 6 of my next 7. Pretty standard for the way things have been going as of late. About 7-8 sessions ago, I completely changed my game up. I started playing really tight. I figured I would experience less variance if I saw less flops and went to show down less frequently.

Instead, it really didn't matter that I played tight. During the last 6 losses I was never dealt anything to play with. The only good thing was that when I folded my favorite drawing hands that I like to play they never hit. I more or less prolonged the inevitable since I would have had losing sessions had I ended up playing those hands.

Here are some oddball stats. This is just a little evidence of how poorly I am running right now. I have logged in 48.7 hours of poker for the month of February and only once I have been dealt pocket Aces and twice I have been dealt pocket kings. I got Aces cracked all in preflop by pocket deuces. I had kings against aces and had kings against A 7. The guy flopped bottom pair and we got all-in on the flop and of course he spiked his Ace on the river.

As of right now, I am completely cashed out. I could not be more demoralized right now. I am at the exact point I was in July of 2007. In July, I had no money, debt was piling up, and I was unemployed. I ended up building a bankroll up to $8000+ for the 3rd time in 3 years. And for the 3rd time, I no longer have that money. That really blows.

I am not going to give up poker though. I am at the point where I have dedicated way too much time and have been through too much to ever give up this evil game. Plus, I have such thick skin now because of this game. Why let that go to waste. I have however developed a completely different strategy.

It is something that I have never tried. It's called: run hot, move up... wash rinse repeat. I really don't care about bankroll management anymore. Not to say that the principles of bankroll management aren't a good tool because they are. But I think you have to move up when running hot to really make money in this game. I have read about too many players making more money then they should have because they moved up and ran hot.

I have also come up with an extremely radical idea on how I am going to go about playing poker in the future however I would prefer to not write about it. I'm not going to lie, it is highly risky and a little extreme. I don't even know if I am going to go through with it so there is no sense in writing about it. If I do go through with it and it works then I will write about it after its been done successfully.

I currently play the $200 NL at Commerce. That is no longer my plan. My poker sessions are going to start going as such.

Walk in with $400-$1000 depending on my bankroll and how I'm feeling.

Buy in to the $200.

I have several ways I can go about this and its all about feel.

Double my money and move up to the $400.

or

Play it out, have a nice a come up and then move on to the $400.

Once I get into the $400 anything can happen.

If I come up a good amount, I can then table change to another $400 table and pocket my profit. If I am having a really good day/feeling really confident/feel good about my bankroll then I will move on to the $600. Once I get there I have no plan because I have never made it that far and I don't know what I am capable of playing in the high limit room at Commerce. I'm not going to constantly grind the $200 anymore because that obviously isn't working anymore.

Never will I just buy into the bigger games. I will only play the bigger games if I am free-rolling. Knowing my luck, it will probably take me like 6 sessions to just get to the $400. It would be nice if the first time I tried this I came up $2K-$3K. Probably not going to happen but I guess I can hope.

Right now, it's all about finding a job. Once I find a job I will probably put my radical plan for playing poker into full motion. Like I said, I don't know if I am going to go through with it yet. I may just end up doing it the old fashioned way and start by saving money from work and then slowly getting back into poker. Probably not going to happen.

February isn't over yet, but I think I am done playing for the month. Here is my graph to end the month.



Here is my new all-time graph. This is 581.8 hours of live cash poker. God I love variance. You can see the different times where I was playing a lot of poker. The two halves of the graph look almost identical. It's truly scary.

February can go to hell.

I actually have several pieces of good news along with a little piece of bad news.

So I spoke to my attorney and he shouted at me the way he always does. Don't worry, that's normal for him. He told me that it's all bullshit and not worry about anything and that he has me covered. I don't really know what that means but hopefully he comes through.

I saw the landlord yesterday and my apartment is finished! I went and rented a truck and will be moving in tomorrow morning. I am absolutely ecstatic. With that and my car payment I just spent $1300 today. That hurts.

So as you can imagine, I was in a really good mood today and went to Commerce hoping that it would translate into a big day. I was wrong. I sat down in the $200 and played much more disciplined then I usually do. On only the second hand of sitting down I was already put to the test for my entire stack. Standard.

There was a $20 raise and I picked up J J in my favorite position. The SB. I win this pot if I re-pop but my hand is too vulnerable so I just call.

There is the typical crazy/wild Middle Eastern (ME) player at my table. On the previous hand, he had A K, raised pre-flop and never once attempted to bluff at it.

The flop on the jacks hand came down 10 8 7 with two hearts. I checked, the initial raiser checked and our ME player bets out $75 which is a slight over-bet. I spend a good minute and a half thinking about it, mulling over what his possible holdings are. I basically come to the conclusion that he is not bluffing since he didn't bluff the last hand. It's now just a matter of how strong he really was.

I show the guy sitting next to me my jacks and I muck. The other guy mucks as well. The ME player asked me what I had and I told him and he verified with the guy I showed and he shit all over himself. He said I made a very good lay-down although he never told me what he had.

I continually got chipped away as I was getting nothing to play with. I don't know why this happens almost every day that I play but it does. Not only that, but this whole month has been the same every session. I get nothing the entire time, and then I'll randomly flop quads with a pocket pair or I'll flop a nut-flush. Other then that, my cards are doing nothing to help me.

I picked up a lot of my favorite hands but elected not to play any of them because I was already short-stacked. Luckily those hands ran cold for me as none of them even came close to hitting. I won one pot where I flopped an Ace and won like $12. I flopped an Ace again and had to lay it down and was right when the girl who bet me out of the pot showed an A 10 against my A 8. I only made 1 play the entire time and of course it backfired. It folded to me in the CO and I raised to $20 with Q J trying to steal blinds. The BB calls me with J 8 and of course flops trips 8's. Flop: 8 8 5. I bet out $30 and he calls. I assume he either has a pocket pair or is floating. An Ace hit the turn and I go all-in hoping that he will fold. He calls and shows his trips and I'm off the table in less then hour. I walk around for a minute trying to figure out why good things are rarely ever happening to me anymore when I play poker.

It was 10 minutes before 5 and I didn't want to sit in traffic plus I wasn't satisfied with my result. For some reason I went and bought into a $100 NL game. I have never booked a win in this game. Before this session I had clocked in 11.5 hours and am down $964. In the $200 game, I'm up $7700 and in the $400 I'm up $10,700. I would like an explanation for that one.

Before my session on the $100 table today I have played 40.4 hours of poker in February and am down exactly $1. That's right $1. I am losing $.02 an hour playing poker. Please just let me die if this is how its going to be.

I sat in the $100 and felt like the tightest player in the world. I never got anything to play with. I cannot recall the last time I had Aces. I won only two hands the whole time and came up $91. That puts me up $90 for the month. I almost jumped back into the $200 but I decided against it, because I really can't take a $300 loss today so instead I played it safe and only took a $109 loss.

I am back down to the original ATM money that I pulled out a week or so ago. Most of the winnings from that went into the bank to cover bills/rent/expenses so I am skating pretty thin right now. Now, would be a really nice time to go on a 20 buy-in upswing.

Take care.

-Gary

I don't know why I do this too myself. Original email date: 2/18/08

I had an absolutely terrible day today. Everything that could go wrong went wrong. And I am not talking about poker. Like I have eluded too before, things in my personal life have been pretty screwed up for a while. Going on 5-6 months now.

Unfortunately I have been staying with my mom for the past 6 weeks. It really hasn't been that bad but my mom and I do not belong under the same roof regardless of the circumstances. I found a new place 2 weeks into staying with my mom. However, the guy who owns the place has been fixing it up. For the last month or so, he has been making and breaking promises about when the place will be ready.

That is the first step in terms of getting my life on track. I really feel I can't get anything accomplished until I get out of my mom's house. It probably sounds like an excuse, but I am completely out of my comfort zone living with my mom. I have essentially been standing on my own 2 feet since I was 18 and I am close to 23 and am living with mom. I seriously could not feel worse about it.

I had also spoken about getting into legal trouble not too long ago. Fortunately, it looked like it had gotten swept under the rug and that I was going to face no penalties and essentially get away with it. Wrong. I got a letter yesterday from the Prosecutor of Pasadena saying that they had re-scheduled my court date. Unless my attorney can pull off a miracle theres nothing but bad news written all over this.

Combine that with the fact that my mom and I got in huge fight over some really stupid bullshit. One of which being poker. We do this all the time. She is literally rooting for me to lose because she hates that I "gamble" and that its impossible to win. I've showed her money and results but she always says that I will just lose it back eventually.

As you can imagine, that adds fuel to my fire and makes me want to prove her wrong even more. Of course, I have to do stupid things, run bad, and not have a lot of little things go my way so of course she thinks she's a genius.

Every time her and I have gotten into an argument and I have gone to play cards, I have lost every time. I seriously don't know what it is. I'm seriously cursed by my mom.

We ended up making some sort of amends later in the day and I put the legal bullshit on the back-burner and decided to not worry about it. I went to Commerce feeling really good about myself and looking to extend upon my newfound winning streak. I went over all my stats and the last time I had 3 winning sessions in a row of over $300 was in late November. That is unacceptable. I use to routinely win 3-4 times in a row when I played in the $5/$10 game and that game is exponentially tougher then the $3/$5 I have been playing most all this time.

I went looking to do another hit and run.

I was unaware that it was a holiday and was shocked at how good the games were when I got there.

I took a look at the $400 games and saw a table with some stupid Armenian guy and his $6000 chip-stack. I watched a few hands on his table and sure enough he was getting ridiculously lucky. I have built stacks of $2000 a few times in that game. $6000 is ludicrous. A seat opened up to his left and there was no board and I really thought of the potential I had to just jump in and crack this guy.

In the end, I ended up being a pussy and didn't want to take the risk. Looking back, I could not be more upset with myself for not doing it.

I sat down in the $200 and there were two guys who had stacks of $1900 and $1100 respectively. They were pumping the game up and I was hardly ever able to see a flop. I wasn't getting anything to play with so it really didn't matter. It actually helped me play tighter which is a good thing.

There was this guy who I could tell had never played poker before who came with his g/f and sat down at the same time I did. He played terribly and called a couple $45 raises even though he only had a $200 stack. He was down to his last $50 and he was sitting right next to me so I could hear everything he was saying. He told his g/f that he was just going to go all-in in the next couple hands so they could leave.

I finally decided to raise a pot when I saw K 9 off. There were several limpers and I was just trying to steal. The guy sitting next to me goes all in for another $25. I only had about $160 and I already knew that if I called and lost, I would be down to only $100 and you need chips for the way this game was playing. I call, miss everything and he shows A 9. I didn't realize how sensitive I still was regarding today's earlier events because it felt like I was on full blown tilt after that one hand. I was just beside myself that this idiot who I know is going to donate my money just took close to half my stack on a hand that probably should have never happened in the first place.

The game was still going wildly and I wasn't getting anything so I kept folding and folding. I eventually doubled up and got back to even.

As usual, the very NEXT hand. I limp in late position with K 10 and the flop comes 10 high with 2 hearts. This girl who I have played with over a dozen times leads out for $25 and I am the only caller. On the turn she fires out $75 and I have seen this time and time again from her. She loves doing this with her flush draws so I go all in. She obviously calls and the river misses the flush and she flips over A 10 of hearts. I guess I was half right, but could not be more displeased with my decision making there. I don't know if its a leak in my game or what, but I can't believe how I often I win a big pot to only give it all back the very NEXT hand. I rebuy and twice flop top pair of Aces and have to fold on the turn both times after dealing with fierce betting. That made my tilt worse. I'm sitting on a stack of $130 and decide to steal blinds and raise to $30 on the button with A 8 off after a couple limpers.

I get two callers and the board comes 8 4 2. I assume I'm good. This guy leads out and pushes all-in for $150.

This is one of those spots where I don't know how I can call but at the same time, how can I fold? Theres no draws except for a potential straight draw. I give him credit for either 8 9 or 9 9 or 10 10.

I call and he shows 9 9 and I am out $400 in only 1.5 hours. I left with a really sour taste in my mouth today. I definitely credit myself for this loss regardless of the cards not helping much. I guess I have finally learned that when I get steamed up early in the day I cannot go play poker. Thats going to be a new rule of mine. I think the only way I could still go under those circumstances is if I smoke before I play but I don't get too smoke too much anymore.

The last weekend: Original Email Date: 2/17/08

It was definitely an interesting weekend.

After my "big" win of $143 on Thursday evening, I went back the next day and proceeded to drop $400.00 Although, I really didn't get anything remotely playable that session, I am taking responsibility for that loss. It should have never occurred or at least the way it did.

I lost two buy-ins in 2.3 hours and unless I get cold-decked really bad, that is unacceptable. Furthermore that has been happening a lot lately.

I went home after that session realizing that something needed to be tweaked in my game. I got on my computer and watched cash games involving my 4 current poker heroes. Phil Ivey, Patrik Antonius, Tony G, and Brian Townsend. The most obvious thing about their games is their aggression. Not only that, but they play very aggressively pre-flop, something I would say that I have lacked for a while. My attitude for a long time, is that I can just outplay whoever I face in a pot post-flop. Unfortunately, the more flops I see, the more bad-beats I take. I decided that too minimize my variance that it would be in my best interest too play less flops.

Although, there have been some bad players doing this, I have noticed another thing that is similar to what I have been talking about, and I just started incorporating it into my game. I have always been real passive with AK/AQ type of hands since I don't care for them.

My newest strategy has been to overplay those hands pre-flop when in good position. If there are two limpers and I look down at AK, my new play has been to raise to $35-$45 which is a very uncharacteristic raise for me. No one ever calls and I am now constantly having little come-ups of $17-$22 throughout my sessions as opposed to either just limping and possibly losing $5 or raising to $20-$25 and missing the flop.

When I do get called its usually heads-up and its an easy bluff. Most players will give you credit for a JJ QQ KK type of hand and will fold if you overbet on the flop. For example, yesterday I had two AK hands on the same table and I played them much differently then I normally do and I would like to think I maximized my profit as a result.

Hand 1:

There are several limpers and I look down at AK and pop it to $45. Everyone folds except one player. The flop comes 8 high and the caller checks and I bet $100. Without even thinking he mucks. In the past I'm either raising smaller or just limping as well. Instead I come up $65 or so and it looks good for my image. The other good thing about this type of betting is that you are only going to get raised on the flop if they flopped a monster. Rarely will you get called so up to this point its been a +EV move for me.

Hand 2:

Same session. This girl who I have played with before who is very LAG raises to $20 on the button. I know the types of hands she likes to play and how she likes to get crazy with small pocket pairs when she thinks your weak. I re-raise to $80 with an AK in the BB. She is the only caller. When she calls I give her credit for about 7 7. I know she's not calling with an AJ or AQ type of hand. I know that if the flop looks "safe" to just fire because I will take it down immediately. The board comes out like 6 2 2 or something along those lines. I immediately fire out $150 and once again she mucks immediately.

I would not have played those two hands like that a few days ago and I would have probably lost those pots since I didn't hit the flop. I have also been raising big with air a lot pre-flop when I have had position and after only a single limper or two and have been taking down a lot of small pots like that.

Although, I have gotten lucky over the last several sessions I feel that my revised way of playing has helped me immensely.

I have since played 3 sessions since that $400 loss on Friday afternoon.

Session 1: The key hand.

After the AK hand I where I re-raised preflop to $80 and fired $150 on the flop, I raised to $35 with a 7 8 suited just trying to steal and got one caller. He offered to check it down after a K 7 6 flop. I reluctantly agreed even though I didn't want to have to show the hand down. I hold up and flip over my 7 8 and that was the first time I had shown cards to the table. I had made two huge flop bluffs and was given respect so this hand changed everything. I originally thought checking that flop down was going to cost me money. Luckily, it made me money.

I was playing against that same LAG girl and this pot happened a little after the 7 8 hand.I look down at JJ and raise to $25. She re-raises to $50. I call.

Flop J 7 5 w/2 spades.

BAM! Any worries I had are now gone.

I check and she only bets $50 which screams weakness. I re-raise her to only $100 and she calls.

Turn A

Money card or death card depending on her hand. I think about it and check. She bets another $100 and I call.

River Blank

I check again and she puts in about $130, enough to put me all-in. I call and she tables AK. She tells me that she thought I was coming in with a 7 8 type of hand and could never put me on JJ.

I came up $530 for the session.

Session 2:

This one was late at night. I played AQ real poorly and paid for it because I got all-in on a Q 2 3 flop against a Q 2 but actually spiked an A on the turn. Finally.

I gave all of those winnings back the next hand when I turned trip 9's and this stupid meth-head had limped with 9 3 and hit a fullhouse. Fortunately, I ended up felting him two times later on in the night.

I came up $346 for the session.

Session 3:

This one was nice. Not as much money as the other two, but this was an easy one. It was also a hit-n-run which are two things I have desperately needed for a long time.

I was down to $150 when this hand went down.

I have been trying to be a little more tighter but its just not in my game anymore. Luckily not playing tight was what won for me today.

There is a raise on the button to $20 after several limpers. I call with A 6 clubs in the BB.

Flop

K high all clubs. Really? Seriously? wow thats nice.

Checks all the way to the raiser who sticks in $40. This moron sitting next to me also calls. I call as well.

This other guy goes all in for like $200 more and has me covered. Everyone folds and I call. He shows KQ for just top pair and I easily avoid a bad beat.

This last hand was extremely satisfying because it happened against the worst player on the table.

I decided to limp 5 8 of spades just for the hell of it and the flop comes down 6 6 7.

The fish bets $20 and I am only caller.

Turn 4

Thank you. I check and the fish bets $50. I raise to $150 and he goes all-in and its like $50 more to call. I call and the river bricks and he shows 10 6. He angrily storms away from the table and that one couldn't feel better.

For the session I came up $324.

That is now a $1200 up-spike which is the largest I have had in a while in my $200 game. I couldn't be more excited to keep playing poker but these swings seriously make me hate poker so much.

I have sent an email of an updated graph in the other email account.

Take care.

-Gary

Some slight relieft: Original email date: 2/14/08

So I went to Commerce today, just praying for a win... no matter how small. Just something to get that downswing off my back. Before today I was $303 away from my all-time consecutive loss record and that is a record that I am fighting dearly to not eclipse.

I had a chance to break it last night and had a very good chance earlier today.

Some very un-standard things happened today and it was really nice.

I bought into the $200 and immediately started getting chipped away. I was down to $140 when I won my first pot and that put me up to $170.

I was down to my last $130 when this hand went down.

I limp UTG with AK and there are several limpers. The BB who is a fish raises to $35 and declares that everyone should call because if you have a pair then you are winning. Obviously I don't know how truthful, he is being but I give credit for AK AQ. Looking back I should have just pushed but I am pretty sure I would have had the same result. I just call.

The button decides to go all-in for another $20. I am now in for $55 and now feel pot-committed.

The 3 of us take the flop and it comes 6 4 4.

The BB checks and I figure at this point that my AK is best so I push in my last $80 or so.

The BB eventually calls and I miss the turn and river. The button shows J 10 for nothing, and the BB shows 9 9. Damn. Another standard coin-flip.

I reach back into my pocket and pull out another $200 which was all I was really willing to risk.

I start getting chipped away and one of the most un-standard hands of my life goes down. I think I had about $150 or so when this hand went down. Before today, I had only flopped one set in my last 8 losing sessions.

I pick up 5 5 and there is a $20 raise from the same BB (fish).

There are 3 callers including myself.

Flop

J 5 5

SAY WHAT????

I actually had to double check my cards to make sure I didn't have 6 6 because I cannot remember the last time I have ever seen this in a live game. I know I have turned quads with a pocket pair but I don't think I have flopped it like that.

The BB bets $40 and I can barely contain myself. I just call. Another player in the hand also just calls and I could not be more excited.

I don't even remember what the turn is and the BB puts the rest of his stack in which has me covered. I can tell that the other guy wants to call as well, but there is nothing I can do about it. I call also and the other guy angrily mucks a Jack face up. The BB also has a Jack and I get paid.

I win another decent pot the next hand and my stack is up to $450. A $50 profit! I can leave now and end my losing streak. What fun would that be.

You can't imagine that I would finish this story without telling a bad beat tale.

So about 15 minutes later. I pick up A 9 and I messed up because I was sitting on the button and I should have popped it but I didn't. I guess the reason why I didn't is because no one ever respects my raises and I really didn't feel like having 6 callers with a holding so marginal so I limped.

Flop comes 9 high with a flush draw. Me and this other guy end up all-in. He only has about $90 left and of course he hits his club on the river. Standard.

I then got outdrawn in a couple of small pots and before I knew it I was back down to $250. I could not be more upset. Over the next two hours, I grind and grind and grind and finally get back to $418 and am thinking about leaving and taking the win but I couldn't bring myself to do it so I kept playing.

I got a little frisky and raised to $25 with 4 4 trying to steal limps and blinds. I got 2 callers and the flop came

K J 10

Checks around.

Turn 4

I bet $50 and get one caller.

River 6

I bet $60 and he lays it down. I left after that hand and came up $143.

There it is.

I snapped an 8 session losing streak.

I snapped a straight loss of $2066.

And it took me 10 sessions to get my second win in the month of February.

I don't know whats going to happen next time, but I hope its not the start of another record-breaking downswing.

$700 upswing would be nice for tomorrow night if I end up playing.

Take care.

-Gary

PS I have sent you a graph in the other email.

Here is the graph I sent her. 8 straight losses.

Crazy: Original Email date: 2/13/08

So I met up with Fox today at Commerce and we both decided to sit down in the $200.00

I sat down and on my very first hand in the BB I looked down at AK and checked to a few limpers.

Flop: K K 3 Pot is $25

Checks around.

Turn A

I'm beside myself. I am seriously ready to shit that myself. Nothing of this nature has happened for an eternity.

I check, bet of $20. Everyone folds.

I raise to $70 and put my chips in a way that I wanted it to look like I was bluffing.

I could tell my opponent wanted to put it in, and it looked like he wanted too, but I still had a bad feeling that he would just fold.

Instead, he did put me all-in and he showed K 7 and I scooped.

On my button two hands later.

I pick up AK spades.

I raise to $25.

One caller.

Flop

A J 8 w/spades.

I'm like WTF?

I bet $30.

Call.

Turn: 5 spades.

WTF?

Check Check

River blank. I have the nuts. I bet and he folds.

I am stacking my chips and already see that I am up about $330 or so and for once actually feel good about myself.

I figured it was going to be one of those days where I was going to catch cards all day and I played like it. Unfortunately over the next 2 hours I missed everything and made a bluff and a semi-bluff that didn't work.


I am down to about $280 when this hand comes down.

I raise to $20 with K 10

3 callers.

Flop

Q 10 8 all clubs. I have no club.

Checks to me on the button and I bet $40 and I get 2 callers.

Turn Q Checks around.

I figure at this point that my 10's may potentially be the best hand. The only thing I can see beating me at this point is a flopped flush.

River 10 Check, Check, my action.

I basically feel I have the nuts. I can't imagine anyone having a Q and from the way the hand has played. The best I am giving both players is that one flopped a flush and the other player had a one card high flush draw.

I bet $75.

The first guy goes all-in and has me covered.

This guy was kind of a douche-bag and I had just won a pot where I bluffed and no one thought I had a hand even after I won and didn't show.

He hasn't done anything that told me has a Q and could very well think I'm bluffing.

I call.

And he shows Q 7

How bad was my call?

He has me covered and I reach back into my pocket feeling like crap.

I never really get anything going on my second stack and about an hour in this happens.

I get dealt K K.

UTG raises to $10.

The guy sitting next to me folds and I see that he has an A that is going into the muck. I raise to $30 feeling really good about my hand.

UTG is this short little Asian man and he goes all in.

I can't imagine him having AA knowing that an Ace is already in the muck. I can't get away from it and I call.

He has Aces and I lose.

I reach in one last time.

I was already resigned to my fate and just bought in one last time just to see if I could only make back at least $200 and take off with a one buy-in loss. There is seriously no worse feeling then playing to just take a 1 buy-in loss.

I win back to back pots with bluffs and this hand goes down.

I get Q 9 diamonds.

Action on the table isn't that good and it folds to me in the CO. I decide to just limp.

Raise to $15 by the BB who has been doing this routinely.

Flop Q 5 6

Bet $20. I call

Turn A

Bet $50. I raise to $120. He thinks about it for a while and finally calls.

River K

Check, I put it all in for $176. A total suicide bet. I am nervous as shit and just praying that this guy throws it away because if he calls I'm out another $600.

He flashes A 6 after thinking about it for about 2 minutes and throws it away.

Damn that one felt good.

The very next hand. This guy who I play with all the time and I really don't like raises to $25.

There are several calls and I call with AQ spades.

Flop A J 6

I am really not liking that J since he could have AJ.

He bets out $60 and I put him all in for like $180 total.

He calls and says send it.

The turn river were actually good cards for me but he flipped over J J.

I am almost back to even on my 3rd stack after having close to $500 in front of me. I could not be more pissed.

I stick it out and get lucky in a couple of nice pots and make another nice bluff and end up cashing out $543.

I recorded yet another loss, but almost breaking even never felt better.

I am amped for my next shot but I don't know if thats going to be tonight or tomorrow. Probably tomorrow.

Take care.

-Gary

RE: Last night was pretty stupid: Original Email date: 2/13/08

I have contemplated writing, but I am at the point of of if you have nothing good to say then don't say anything.

I have played 3 sessions since I last messaged you and I have nothing but complaints.

I have set a new standard for myself in losing.

I have lost my last 7 straight sessions which is a new record.

I have lost 9 of the last 10 which is also a new record.

In the last month I have lost 16 out of the last 20.

I have dropped $2009 dollars without a win and if I lose over $300 today I will set a new all-time record for biggest downswing.

My biggest downswing I ever had was about year ago at about this time. I dropped $2300 but that was playing $400 buyins. I have dropped almost that much playing primarily $100-$200 buyins mixed in with a couple $400 buyins.

I will admit that I have not played my best in a couple of the losses, at the same time though I am not getting the kind of cards that allow me to play well. In the last 16 hours I have only flopped one set. Unfortunately, it happened against the wrong person and she folded AK with an A on board. Out of all the idiots I have played against recently, I should have doubled up, but the one time I hit, I hit against a player who can actually lay a hand down.

And thats another thing too.

Most of my losses over the last month or so have been coming at the hands of the worst players at the table.

I always read that the fish can't always get lucky. But I play with the fish everyday and they always get lucky, the only difference is that they take on a new form each day. But its always the same fish.

I have literally tried everything. I have played in different casinos and at different limits and nothing seems to work.

Since the one win, I have done the following.

$3/$5 NL Commerce -$200.00
$5/$5 NL Bike -$400.00
$3/$5 NL Commerce -$200.00
$1/$3 NL Bike -$109.00
$5/$5 NL Bike -$600.00
$3/$5 NL Bike -$400.00
$2/$3 NL Commerce -$100.00

I have about 2-3 months left worth of total expenses before I am completely cashed out. My cash bankroll which started out at $40 got as high as $4900.00 My cash bankroll just hit $0 last night. Everything else I have is tied up in different accounts so I am going to try and make a couple things happen in the next week. Today will be the first time I ever gamble pulling money out of the atm.

I obviously have to get a job at this point, but unfortunately I haven't had much luck in that department either.

I'm about to head out so wish me luck. Can I really go 8 times in a row without a win?

Take care.

-Gary

So last night was pretty stupid: Original email date: 2/11/08

So after I got off the phone with you, I went down and got into a $200 game. We started a new table and on the very first hand I get dealt QQ in the BB. There was an early position raise to $20 and I just called. Normally I pop it, but I have gotten myself into way too much trouble lately 3 betting out of position.

I think if you are ever going to 3 bet pre-flop, you have to bet the flop 95% of the time. The only time I would recommend not betting is if you have KK and the flop comes K 3 8 rainbow.

Like I said I chose to only call.

Flop:

A and two rags.

I check, the raiser checks, and this guy who called for an Ace bets out $50. We both fold and he flips over AQ. I show someone sitting next to me my queens. The guy with the AQ tells me he would have put me all-in had I 3 bet. Good to know, that would have been a really nice way to start my day. Drawing to a 1 outer that I know I am incapable of hitting.

I guess I misplayed the hand, but I lost the minimum so I pat myself on the back for that one.

I ended up getting AK and AQ a combined 6 times, AJ and A 10 suited twice, and got QQ one other time. I only won 3 hands over the course of the 2 hour session.

The last hand I was dealt JJ and got all-in on the flop with my shortstack on an 8 high board. I get called by the flush draw and he catches runner-runner for the straight. Standard. I leave taking a $200 loss.

At that point, I had now lost half the money from the one big session I had.

Later that night Fox from NY called and we met up at the bike.

He plays the $80 NL so I got in on a new $80 game.

I lost my whole stack on the first hand when I flopped top pair and an open-ender to guy who flopped the nut straight. Standard.

I then changed to my friends table and bought in for another $80. That stack went rather quickly as well.

During that second stack, I turned the nut-straight with J 10 and of course got rivered by a flush. I paid him off even though I knew what he had because I was in a shitty mood.

I reloaded for $100 and hit the nuts with J 10 again. This time I had to chop. Standard.

I got all-in preflop with AK against a guy who had 6 4. He flopped 2 pair. Standard.

I do have something good to report though.

I gave two bad beats.

I had 5 7 diamonds and turned a flush draw to go with a gut-shot. There was a bet and a bunch of calls and the last guy raised the $9 bet to $39. I thought this would be a great opportunity to do to someone what has been happening to me for months. I was the only caller and hit my flush. I was out of position and put the rest of it in. I did not get called. I obviously wanted to get called but I also didn't want to have to show the hand down.

Another guy went all in for $18. There were two callers so I thought it would be a good idea to call with 5 8 spades.

I went all in after I flopped a gutshot. Everyone folded and it actually got there. The all-in player showed 10 10.

On the night I took a $109 loss and a loss of $309 for the day.

I was immensely satisfied however because I gave more bad beats in one night (2) then I have given in forever and as I put up with more and more bullshit, the sicker the pleasure I get out of fucking someone over.

I am not really sure if I am going to play tonight. I still have not made my mind up.

Take care.

-Gary

Accidentally playing way over my head: Original email: 2/9/08

I had been running really bad and took a break for about 10 days or so. This is my email to Melissa after my first session back.


So my buddy from NY that I have been playing with a lot lately was back in town and wanted to play some cards.

I haven't played at all in February and have been looking forward to starting off a fresh month.

We went to the Bike and it was so packed that we had to park in this other lot that I didn't even know existed.

We get in and the place is the most packed I have ever seen. Excellent, the games must be really good.

The last time I was at Commerce, a guy that I play with on occasion was telling me about a good game that they spread at the Bike. He said it's the $300-$500 buyin and has $5/$5 blinds. He said it plays exactly like the $200 game that I play except you can buy in for more. He said that if you buy in for the full amount that you can go in and mop the game fairly easily. i decided I was going to give it a shot while my buddy played the $80 NL.

I go to the podium ask for $500 NL and they tell me they have a seat available.

I sit down and give the chip-runner my cash.

They were about 3 positions away from my BB so I decide to wait it out and watch a couple hands.

In the first 2 hands I saw, there were $1000 bets on either flop or turn. I was like wow. Not only that but the blinds were $5/$10 and not $5/$5 like I had hoped. Not only that but they were straddling every hand making for huge action. I had recently played some $5/$10 so I decided to stick it out since the adjustment wouldn't be that great. It gets to my UTG and I decide to come in on the straddle so I post my $20.

The first hand I get dealt, the player UTG pops my straddle to $85. There are several callers and I look down at K 10 clubs.

It's only $65 more to call and theres already close $400 in the pot. Easy call, plus I know if I hit I am going to get paid off.

We take the flop of

K 6 3 2 hearts

I check and UTG bets out $275. It folds around to to me and I look at the way the guy had put his chips in because it didn't make sense. He had thrown in 5 chips. 2 whites ($100 each) and 3 off-color chips that looked like dollar chips. I looked closer at these "dollar" chips only to realize that they are $25 chips. Not only that but everyone had A LOT of them. I was like "OH SHIT, what did I just get myself into."

At Commerce they have the $200, $400 and the $600. The biggest I have ever played is the $400. The $600 has no max buy-in and has blinds of $10/$20. I am really really far away from ever playing that game as it is too expensive. It turns out that the game I was playing in was the Bike's equivalent to the Commerce $600. It took me a minute to realize but I looked around and saw 4 players who had at least $6000.00 in front of them. Everyone else had at least $2000.00 I had just bought into the game for what I guess is the minimum. $500. Obviously had I known what I was getting myself into I would have passed on the seat but like I said I didn't know.

Since I have now realized what I have gotten myself into, I am starting to realize that my pair of Kings on the flop is probably good. I start studying my opponent and know that the poker that these "high-rollers" play is much different then the poker we play. The bluffing in this game as it turns out was absolutely relentless.

I put the guy who had bet $275 on QQ JJ or an even weaker holding.

I go all in.

He doesn't call right away so I knew that my hand was probably best.

He asked how much more it was and I told him that he was pot-committed. It was about $150 more to call. He calls.

Bear in mind, this is my very first hand.

Turn Q I literally gasped out-loud when I saw that card.

River J At this point I had already excepted defeat and shook my head.

I flipped over K 10 and expected to have gotten sucked out but my opponent said nice hand and threw it into the muck.

WELCOME TO THE BIG GAME I thought to myself.

It literally took me over 5 minutes to stack all the chips from the nearly $1300 pot I had just won.

The guy sitting to my right, and thank God he was on my right is the best LAG player I have ever played with. He was awesome although he was a total prick. His game was like mine if I was actually a good player. From the moment I sat down until about 10 minutes later he was winning almost every pot. He even showed down a couple of monster hands, so I knew that he had the goods some of the time.

This is about the 6th or 7th hand now and I am just finishing stacking my chips when there is a straddle and the LAG to my right pops it to $80 UTG. I look down at QQ and only call.

I almost never just call there, but this guy was playing so loose and had over $6K that I had a feeling that if I made it $200 to go that he would have put me all-in and thats not what I wanted.

Several other players call. The LAG comments on how he has a good hand and its a little better then the last hand he just showed down which was a bluff. AQ. I couldn't imagine that he had a hand better then my queens so I gave him credit for 10's.

Flop:

2 2 4

LAG immediately fires out $300. Once again I'm taken aback because I have never even come close to playing this big before and every hand feels like a brand-new experience.

I declare raise and put out the $300. After putting out the $300 I sit in place for about a minute to make myself look strong and counted out 5 white chips and popped his bet to $800.

It folds back to the LAG and he considers what to do. I end up telling him that I have a good hand and that he should fold. He says, what do you have 9's? I say something along those lines. He says, ok I'll double you up and goes all-in. Obviously I call and this is the new biggest pot I have ever played in my life.

Turn Q

BAM!!!! It doesn't matter what he has at this point, I know I have just won the biggest pot of my life.

River J

I flip over my Queens and the LAG gets all pissy and starts complaining about his luck and that he had KK.

First off, I don't believe he actually had Kings. For 2 reasons.

1. I never hit that 2 outer on the turn. Ever. So thats the first thing.

2. He loved showing his cards and even showed his bad beats so I know he would have showed me Kings. I told him I put him on 10's and he got really defensive that he didn't have 10's. Whatever.

I never got to counting how big my stack was because it took another 15 minutes to stack my chips. But I would assume it was around $2700-$2800.

I won a couple more small pots and never could really get into the game like I wanted too because they were just committing way too much money in spots where I don't like to commit a lot of money.

The 3-betting was the most relentless I had ever seen. $300 re-raises pre-flop were not uncommon and a lot of the time that bet would be quickly called by the original raiser.

In this game, there was no such thing as a free card. This is the perfect game to play in if your catching cards. If you hit something on the turn and check, you are probably going to be faced with a $500 bet.

Overall, I would say that the guys I sat down with were by far the most talented and richest players I had ever played with. I essentially jumped up two levels even though I didn't mean too. On the other hand, these guys were such whiners. They always whined like crazy when they were outdrawn and a couple even went on tilt. I know it's a lot of money but if you're playing at those stakes professionally, you should already be trained to handle the swings. Some of these guys weren't and that was nice to see.

My buddy couldn't stay long so I left about 2 hours after I sat down and ended up cashing out $2222.00 for a come up of $1722.

I went to Commerce and tried talking myself into playing the $400 but instead went with the $200 only so I could lose to a couple 3 outers on the turn and river. Standard. I dropped one buyin and called it a night.

I'm heading to Commerce in a few minutes. Hopefully February keeps treating me well.

Take care.

-Gary

RE: My 15 hour weekend long bender. Original email 1/29/08

Unfortunately, I do not have the original email where I talked about the 1st half of my weekend session. This is after her reply and my response.


My session the other night really sucked. Not a whole lot happened and I lost the bare minimum. I expected the cash games to be crazy but they were nothing out of the ordinary. My assumption is that most of the players that played in the tournament don't play as small as I do and the games were lacking as a result. I played in the tournament held yesterday twice last year. It's the $335+ rebuys which is insane because a lot of people will go in and spend $3K on the tournament. Hence, why not a lot of players in that tournament came down and played in my game.

There were 3 noteworthy hands last night.

I played on 2 tables last night and on the first table I was on I picked up AQ in the SB and I had a stack of about $165. There were several limpers and I just completed in the SB. I really hate those Ace big kicker hands. As you have probably noticed, I love to play trash hands and I have gotten really good with them. I don't like raising in the SB with what I consider a marginal hand, because if you miss, you are forced to bluff out of position. When I do raise in the SB I am coming with a really big hand. Another thing I do when I do raise in the small blind is I like to check in the dark when there are a lot of callers. It gives me position and might even let me see a free card. I learned that from our friend Phil Hellmuth.

So the flop came A high with 2 clubs. I bet out $25 and was quickly raised to $50. At first I thought I was against a flush draw.

The turn completed the flush and I hit my Q for two pair.

I checked and the raiser bet out $50. At this point, I figured he had the flush but I wasn't too convinced.

I hit my gin card on the river as the Ace came out filling me up. I open-shoved it for my last $80 or so and I got called by AJ.

It feels good too cooler someone every once in a while since it happens to me so often.

My table ended up breaking and I took my $111 profit and pocketed it and went to the next table.

My next table I came up right away when I 3 bet with QQ and took it down on the flop.

Then things got stupid.

I found K 8 clubs in the SB and completed for the almost family pot.

Flop 8 5 3 two diamonds

I bet out $20 and got 4 callers. That scared the crap out of me.

The turn was an offsuit 6 and I checked since I didn't like that card much.

The button bets out $25 and I just called. Everyone else folded.

River Q diamonds.

I check and the button bets out $50. I thought about it for a while and put him on an 8 with a weaker kicker then mine. I concluded that he didn't have the flush because if the button had a flush draw he would have taken a free river.

I call and he flips over Q 8. Standard.

I get no cards and start to dwindle away.

With a stack of $110 I found 9 7 suited in late position and there was one limper. I raised to $25 and it was the first raise I had made at the table since the QQ hand over an hour ago. I end up running into AQ and AA and didn't even get to see the flop. Damn.

With a stack of $59 I limped in with 4 4.

The BB popped it to $35.

The next player to act was this old man who was calling every raise. I knew he was going to call and I new what I was in for. He calls, and the guy next to him is this crazy Asian guy who I have already seen dump $1000. He obviously calls. I figure if I call the old man sitting next to me is going to call as well. So I call. I think that was my mistake but I will never know. Had I just pushed there, I don't think the old man next to me would have called but we'll never know.

Flop: 3 5 6 all clubs, I have no club.

Obviously thats the best flop I could have seen that doesn't have a 4.

The BB fires out $120 which I loved because it was going to allow me protection. Plus I liked my draw and figured that my made hand was better then his hand and I figured that he was drawing to the flush. I put in my last $20 or so and the old man calls the $120 bet.

Turn: 7 offsuit.

Wow, I just sucked out. What a great feeling. This is something that I don't get to do very often.

BB goes all in for $200 and the old man calls again. What the hell?

River 9 offsuit. I know I am good and I am just waiting to scoop my main pot.

BB flips over QQ with a club and missed his flush.

Old man flips over 7 8 offsuit. Once again I get screwed out of a pot. That was my last hand of the night and I up ended taking an $89 loss which isn't that bad considering some other losses I've taken in the past.

I am just wondering when this crap is going to stop if ever. I have only had one session in the last 2 months where I haven't taken at least one bad beat. In that session I had a record setting day. That was day 1 of the LAPC just a few days ago. I could only imagine how much better off financially I would be if I didn't get sucked out on a regular basis.

Stayed tuned for those graphs. Lots of crazy variance.

Take care.

-Gary

One last attempt. The swings of poker. Day 1 of the LAPC: Origially written 1/25/08

Yesterday was day 1 of the LAPC and I had spent the last week or so debating whether or not I should play in the first event. It is what I have been playing for all this time.

Even though I don't have the money for it, I decided to just go for it anyway.

I got to Commerce at about 12:00 and the tournament was set to start at 3:30. It was a $335 buyin and was expecting 1000+ players.

I brought $600 with me that I was willing to lose. In fact, I already had the mindset that I was probably going to go home with no money in my pocket. I guess its better that way sometimes so it doesn't hurt if it actually happens.

I buy into the $200 game hoping to make my buy-in so that I can just take a break-even on the day.

Early on, I called a raise with 8 9 suited and flopped a flush. We ended up getting all-in on the flop and too my delight the player I was all in with only had top pair top kicker and had no flush draw. He didn't catch perfect-perfect and I was up about $150 on the table. A little while later I went upstairs to register for the tournament.

I was gone for a lot longer then I expected to be and when I came back they were about to pick up my chips. As luck would have it, right when I got to the table the previous hand just ended and it was my turn to post the BB so I didn't have to wait any hands or post $8.

There are several limpers and I pop it to $25 when I look down at KK. I get a couple callers and the flop comes down

10 4 4.

I bet out $40 and I get raised to $100. I would like to believe that no one called me pre-flop with just a 4 so I decide to put my opponent on A 10 and I go all-in. He thinks about it for a while and the longer he takes the more I think he has A 10. With that said and with the way things have been going I tell him, "lay it down and I'll show you. I have you beat." I then tell him that I will show him a card if he shows me one. We agree and he shows the A of spades. I let him pick which ever one he wants and of course he picks one of 2 red kings. I tell him again, "I don't have AK, lay it down I'll show you. I don't want to get drawn out." Of course the table thinks I'm a complete idiot but Ive been losing almost every all-in for the last few weeks. He finally calls and I actually dodge the turn and river and our caller shows A 10. I was so relieved that I had already gotten it all-in twice and actually held up. I had him covered and my stack was now up to about $650 which covered the tournament plus a little bit more.

I pick up a few more pots and my stack climbed to $800.

I end up chopping the blinds and flip over JJ. Oh well. The very next hand I'm on the button and I pick up JJ again and raise to $35. I get one caller and the flop comes down

8 4 3.

I bet out $50 and a player with $150 goes all in.

Only because of my recent run, it smelled like a set, but I said to the table, I guess its only going to cost me another $100 to see if I'm actually running hot today. I call and the turn is a J and our opponent flips over J 8 and is drawing dead. I get up right then and there and say that I am ready for the tournament. It was 2:00 at this point and I went upstairs to give one more shot in the satellites. (I don't know why I bother.)

My worst case scenario before the satellite is that I lose the tournament but I will still make $340 on the day. Life is good. I buy-in to the last $80 satellite of the day and start off hot again.

We get down to 4 handed and I'm thinking one time, lets take one of these down.

4 handed there was one guy who had the most chips, I was in second and the other two players were on life-support. The big-stack screwed me over by playing terribly and he doubled up everyone but me multiple times. I end up being the shorted stack and get knocked out. I come to find out later that the big stack came in 3rd and the two short-stacks ended up taking down the satellite.

The tournament started and I was amped. Altogether there were 1192 entries and first was 78K.

Early on, I get no cards and finally pick up JJ. There are several limpers of 50 and a raise to 300 which is a large raise. I wish I would have just pushed because I'm sure I would have just taken it down but something told me not to. I just call and I take the flop heads-up.

Flop

K 6 9 all diamonds. I have no diamond.

My opponent who I have position on and is sitting right next to me looks at his cards and something about the way he looked at his cards sent off a warning sign.

I put him on A of diamonds and some rag kicker. So I'm ahead. He checks and I check behind. The turn is a 10 and he bets 600. I call immediately and a diamond peels off on the river. He bets out another 600 and I fold immediately and he shows AJ of diamonds.

I am down to 1200 from my original starting stack of 2000 and I am still getting nothing. I pick up AJ after several limpers and raise to 250. They all call and we take the flop.

Flop

J 9 8.

I could not be more displeased with the flop because with all those callers I can smell Q 10.

I bet 500 and the guy who knocked me out of my satellite goes all-in for 800. I am forced to call and sure enough he shows Q 10.

Great, twice now people have flopped the nuts against me. I am now down to my last 400 and could not be more disappointed. There was too much too play for and I refused to give up. I let the blinds pass all the way around twice before I found QQ and went all-in for 175. There was a raise and a caller prior to my all in so it was my chance to triple up. My queens held and I was and I was now up to 575. I let the blinds pass all the way around twice again before I made my next move. I picked up KQ UTG and pushed all in for 400 hoping to at least take down the blinds which were now at 50/100. I got 3 callers and the flop came all rags. This guy makes a huge bet and everyone folds and shows JJ. One time, let me hit my coin-flip I yelled out.

Sure enough a King actually came on the river and I was back!. I had a chip-count of 1700 and actually had a chance again. One round later I saw Q 5 in the BB and checked my option after several limpers. I flopped 2 pair and led out immediately for a pot size bet. I got one caller by a fish. The turn was a 7 and I went all-in. He debated for a while and finally called with Q 10. I dodged the river and now had a stack of 3800. I couldn't be feeling better. I took a stack of 3600 into the break which was pretty respectable. After the break I knocked out the guy who flopped Q 10 on me when my KK outlasted his 44. I was now up to 4800 in chips. Unfortunately that would be my peak. A new player came and sat down and limped in for 150. My stack was at about 4200 and I raised to 600 when I looked down at QQ. He went all in for about a 1000 more or so and couldn't be more nervous. I called immediately and he had KK. I couldn't hit my 2 outer like so many have done against me and once again I was crippled.

My last hand, there was a middle position raise and I looked down at AJ which looked like pocket aces considering the cold cards I had been getting for several rounds. I went all in on his raise of 600 (blinds 100/200). It was 1900 more for him to call and if he called and lost, he would be crippled which was why I made the play I did. Plus I had been playing really tight and had only shown down big pocket-pairs. I figured that would be enough to warrant a fold but I then heard his little speech. "I think you have AK but you're short-stacked so I have to call." I knew it was over and he showed AQ. I didn't suck out and I was out of the tournament.

We were about 3.5 hours in and there were 600 left and I looked around and thought what could have been.

I took a walk and went back to downstairs. To my delight, the Commerce main room was the most packed I had ever seen. Every table had a game going, and there were 30 players on the wait-list for both the $200 and the $400 game. I had to put my name down and took a walk around the room. The stacks were the biggest I had ever seen in that room. I get to my table and right off the bat I win two really nice pots. The second one I flopped a set of Kings and induced a bluff on the turn after checking on the flop and betting out on the turn. The biggest hand was when I raised with 6 6 and flopped top set. I picked up $100 off one player and cleaned out another who had about $350 to start the hand. Ironically enough I had QQ run into KK again but I was able to lay it down pre-flop without really even thinking twice about it. All I can say about that is LOL Donkaments because I'm pretty sure I'm incapable of making that laydown in a tournament whereas I didn't give much thought in the cash game.

I walked off that table up another $700. I was now up $1000 on the day and was up $1400 in the $200 which more then shatters my previous record of $950. I decided to go for gold and bought into one last table. I came up $100 right away before my last big hand of the night. I was sitting on a stack of $300 and flopped a set in a raised pot pre-flop with 3 3. Reality returned because most of the time I have flopped sets lately it has been on all same suit boards. I put the initial raiser all in and he called and had flopped the nut-flush. I couldn't suck out and ended up dropping that buyin. I left not long after and remembered how good it felt to run good for a change.

The swings in this game are unbearable and I hate poker for that but I am still in the learning process of dealing with these swings. I am not back by any means since I am still looking for a job. I have a friend who wants to play tonight so I'm going to give it a go once again. Hopefully I can run well for two days in a row.

Take care.

-Gary

December: Original email date: 1/2/08

So, I continued onward through the month of December playing way too much poker. What greeted me instead was what I felt to be the worst run of cards that I have ever had. I lost more all-ins then I thought was possible. I had some of the longest cold-spells I've ever had. I went a week without seeing Aces. Most the time I hit, someone hit harder.

I ended up playing 118 hours of poker and my results were as follows.

$5303.00 in losses
$5188.00 in wins.

Which totals out to being down $115 on the month. I also took a trip to Vegas for 6 days but wasn't able to play as much poker as I would have liked as a result of bad game selection. The trip ended up costing me $1000.00 and after Christmas shopping and paying the rent and bills. This was probably one of the most frustrating months of my life. Here's several key hands during the last month that give you an idea of how things went.

Hand 1:

This took place early in the month at Commerce. I'm sitting on a stack of about $400 and I raised to $25 (BB= $5) on the button with a J 10 diamonds. I get 3 callers.

Flop comes: Q J 7 w/ 2 diamonds.

Long story short, I get it all in on the flop with a guy who has me covered. He calls my all-in and says "I have a massive draw, I hope you have Kings" and shows 8 6 diamonds. When I saw his hand, I was so proud that I was able to put my money in with that big of an advantage.

Turn: 6

River: 6

Yeah I pretty much flipped out and was absolutely furious.

I did the odds, and on the flop I am a 95.56% favorite. On the turn, I am still an 88.64% favorite. Poker owes me one there. I ended up posting a big loss on the day and was left with a hand that I would never forget.

Hand 2:

This one was in Vegas in the $3-$5 NL Bellagio game. The buy-in is $100-$500 and I bought in for $300.

I had been playing for 2 hours and had just won the last couple of hands which put me up $100 for the session. I picked up A 10 and decided to raise to $25. I get 2 callers and the flop comes down

Flop: A A 6 rainbow

I threw out a $40 bet in such a fashion that I wanted my opponents to think that I was bluffing.

The first player immediately raises to $100 and I wasn't too concerned about him. The other player who looks like a thinking player thinks for a while and just calls. My alarm bells are already going off and I'm thinking 6 6.

I just call and the turn comes

Turn: 2

It checks around and I have now decided that I am not putting any more money in the pot unless an A or a 10 peels off on the river. I am absolutely convinced that I am beat.

River: J

The J means nothing to me. If someone has AJ, I have already lost.

The first player to act who also just called the $100 on the flop goes all in for $350. I think about it for a couple minutes and show the player next to me what I was folding. Fortunately, some asshole sitting across the table says, "Hey I want to see his hand." So the dealer takes my hand and puts it aside. Of course the idiot who had raised to $100 on the flop folds. The dealer shows A 10 and everyone starts shitting on themselves. The all-in player says, how can you fold that and shows A 2. I made the right lay-down, but I was pissed that I could have pushed him off his hand and the fact that I got sucked out like that on the turn. The only good thing that came out of that hand was that I had great respect from everyone at the table after that hand. I ended up posting a $68 loss in that session.

Hand 3:

This one was just a couple nights ago and I was playing in the $3-$5 NL game at the Bicycle Casino.

I'm sitting in the SB and everyone folds to the button. The douchebag on the button just limps in and won't let us chop. I look down at 3 5 offsuit and say ok. I played with this same idiot the other night and he constantly got lucky against me and took about $500 off me.

In this hand I had about $850 and he had $400. The pot has only $15 pre-rake and the flop comes

Flop: 4 6 7 w/ 2 diamonds.

I bet out $15 and douchebag raises to $60. I go all-in and douchebag takes about 10 seconds before calling. The turn and river are both diamonds which is pretty standard at this point and douchebag shows A 7 with the A of diamonds for a one card flush.

I absolutely flipped out and called this guy every name in the book. I got up from the table immediately and what should have been a $1400 night was only a $400 night.

In my last session before the new year, I picked up AA twice, KK once, and QQ twice. I still lost $300 for the session which is pretty standard.

In my first session on the New Year, I took two bad beats early on and played really bad. I should have had a $600 loss but I got lucky when my flopped flush held up against a set and I only lost $155 for the session. I left and watched a football game with a friend and went back to Commerce after and ran really good and came up $608 in 1.5 hours.

My first WPT prelim is in about 3.5 weeks and I need to make as much money as humanly possible in the meantime. Hopefully I get some sweet sweet retribution over the next couple of weeks.

Thats my story.

Take care.

-Gary

My inspiration for doing this.

I really enjoy writing although I am my harshest critic. Everything I write I feel is crap. For some reason, I look at my flow and sentence structure and it never feels right. Anyway, I have been writing a lot lately and have been emailing back and forth with my cousin who is living in the Midwest. I feel that there is a lot of good content and I have saved as many of the emails as I can. Some of the emails are lost but I would say that about 75% of them are still intact.

My cousin Melissa is also a poker enthusiast and someone I wish would play more. She is originally from California but moved to Iowa and now lives vicariously through my emails.

Poker as of now

After I quit my parents business, I decided to give bartending a try. It was something that I was always wanted to do but was afraid to take the risk. I was finally giving it a go and it took me two months to find a job after vigorous looking. Bartending was actually everything it was cracked up to be. Not only that, but everyone loves the bartender and that is quite satisfying.

The time in which I wasn't working I exhausted all of my expenses. When I finally found a job, I was basically starting from scratch. The $10K I made in school was long gone and the $9K+ I made playing live was gone as well. I played a little poker during this time. I played in 6 events during the Mini Series at the Bike. Overall, I broke even for the series with two cashes. The first was 10/195 and the second was 25/295. In the second one I got jewed really hard which is really standard for me. In the first one, I was card-dead the entire tournament which is also pretty standard for me as well.

I eventually found a new job and started working in early July. Unfortunately, I was making very little at my job, so the thought of going back into poker was a little far-fetched. By this time, I was living with that crazy tweaker bitch Megan.

I got an offer from my buddy Omar to help him cater at a wedding. He told me that it was suppose to be quite lucrative so I decided to take him up on his offer. I played hookie from work on a Saturday night and went with Omar to do the wedding. Omar wasn't lying. I made over $200 under the table for just a few hours of work, got wasted, got stoned, and had a blast. To this day, it is the most money I have ever made at a job. Omar will probably never read this, but thank you so much for that opportunity because it led into what happened next.

I suddenly had a little bit of extra cash and I decided that I was going to take one shot at poker. At Commerce, they have a $40 buy-in NL game which is a huge joke but you have to start somewhere. On September 11 2007, I went back to Commerce and bought into the $40 game and came up $144. I went back the very next day and came up $101. Although it wasn't much I was finally starting to have a little bit of a cash-flow after being totally broke for most of the last 6 months. I thought it was going to be easy money from here on out. I was wrong.

The $40 NL game at Commerce is unbeatable over the long term. For one, the rake is atrocious. I believe it's $3 a hand with the jackpot drop. Not only that, but you are always dealing with people being all-in, so most of the time you are at the mercy of the cards. When I am at the mercy of the cards, they usually show me their wrath. I put in 18 sessions over the next 3 weeks and booked 7 wins against 11 losses. I was practically even give or take a half buy-in. I was so tired of getting constantly drawn out on by people going all in with 2 5 and shit like that I decided I was going to go back downstairs where I belonged. I told myself that the next time I had a decent session, I was going to go downstairs and try and make something out of my profit.

It was around this time that I had moved in with Johnny in Highland Park. He kept telling me to take a shot in the $200 and I eventually did.

In the very next session it happened. I ended up getting all-in on the flop with J J against two other players and actually held up for a pretty large pot. Those two players went bust and that broke the table. I had exactly $200 and went downstairs to play in the $200. In the $200 I doubled my money which was a come up of $360. It was the best day I had in months. I started to feel like me again. For some reason I played two more times in the $40 and lost both times. I decided that I was going to stay downstairs and see what kind of damage I could do. I started off real slow but I was winning and thats all that matters. My first 4 sessions of regular $200 play were all wins of the following: $131, $16, $176, and $10. On the 5th session I broke out and this session alone enabled me to play the $200 for a while.

I was sitting on a stack of about $500-$600 and I flopped a set with 5 5. The idiot sitting to my left was a huge sucker and called me all the way with a gut-shot. I filled up on the turn and he was drawing dead. I got lucky because he actually hit his gut-shot on the river and he went all-in and had me covered. The end result was that I came up $880 for the session. It is still the 2nd biggest 1 table come up I have ever had in the $200. I kept winning and in only 2 weeks of playing the $200 I ended finishing the month up $1900.

I steamrolled into November and I am waiting for another month like this to come. There isn't really much to describe so I will show the graph. Altogether I came up a little bit short of $4000.



Even before November I had established a bunch of poker goals.

1. I wanted to play in the multiple events at the LAPC.

2. Going into the LAPC I wanted to have at least $10K behind.

November came and went and everything was going perfectly to plan. In the beginning of the month I had a falling out at work with management. I didn't like how they treated me and how they went about certain things and I completely lost all respect for them. It was only a couple weeks later that I ended up just not showing up one night. Although it wasn't planned I was now playing poker for living.

December was right on the horizon and I could not be more excited. I decided that I was going to put in more hours then I ever had in the past.

Unfortunately, December was one of the most frustrating months of my life. I put in 117 hours of play and here is my graph.



I really don't know what to say about that graph, but everything in my life was falling apart at this point. The whole episode with Johnny came and went and I moved into that shit-hole in San Gabriel and was hating every minute of living there. January came and went and it was equally as frustrating. For most of the first half of the month I couldn't even play because my car had been taken by the cops. I was extremely demoralized and saw my tournament dreams slowly slipping away. I made money in January playing in the cash games but I lost even more money then that playing in Mo's Deep Stack tournaments at the bike and satellites at Commerce.

I have learned something very important about playing in tournaments. Do not play in tournaments if you are running bad. You will get fucked in some way shape or form. At one point during the tournaments and satellites I lost 12 out of 13 all in pre-flop coin-flips. The result was that I finished 3rd 3 times and 4th twice in satellites when you need to finish in the top 2 to get paid. Here is my January graph:



I rolled into February and by now I had been kicked out of the San Gabriel apartment due to "excessive" noise and was now living with my mom. Of course things just got much worse. The bad running months are heavily talked about in emails to Melissa which are going to posted very soon. In the meantime here are some more graphs.

This is my all time graph. This is current as of February 20th.



This is my graph from when I started playing poker again.

My poker career. Part II

So after I got home from school I went on a spending spree. It was so fucking awesome. I just barely turned 21 and I had $10,000 to just throw around at my disposal. Although the things that I purchased were things that I absolutely needed, I could have potentially gotten around it. Although practically impossible, one option was to move back into my parents house.

I was essentially given a gift from the poker gods and this is the second time in my life where I have major regret. I regret spending the money and not playing it out. Who knows, I may have blown through the 10K and be telling you about I had 10K and instead of spending it I gave it all back. I wish I would have been to willing to take that risk. I know that anyone who plays poker seriously, and is reading this, knows that 10K in poker winnings isn't shit. I know that now, but back then that was the most money I ever had in my possession. I also wasn't serious about being a pro at the time. I wish I would have taken that big jump. I truly feel that had I kept playing everyday and played in all the big online tournaments, I would have become one of the "big names" on the online scene. Even if not one those names I think I could have turned that 10K into 100K and then I could have done some serious damage as opposed to the damage that was done with 10K.

Anyway enough rambling, I put a down-payment on a new car that was and is practical for me. I put a first and last payment on a new 1 bedroom apartment and fully furnished and bought many other miscellaneous items. I then went to work for my parents never knowing why I actually decided to do it. There were some rewarding experiences during that time, but deep down I think I always knew I was going to quit that industry. I just couldn't hang with it. The people of that industry are so much different from me. Just from life-style alone. I can't see myself getting up between 4-5 in the morning, 6-7 days a week for the next 30 years. I think it would kill me. I am not wired to be a morning person. To me the morning should only be enjoyed before going to bed, not after waking up. It takes me a while to recover from sleep and when I first wake up during the day, I need time to let my brain just un-mush itself.

In May of 2006 I turned 21 and for the first time was allowed to play in the LA card-clubs. I had been wanting to do it for years and finally got to step into the Commerce casino for the first time. Commerce is so ballin. No other poker-room I have ever been too competes with it and I have played in at least 12. The closest I would say is the Bellagio poker room. For the first time I bought into a $200 buy-in game. It was the highest I had ever played in a live cash game. I came right in and just killed it. Unfortunately, none of my results were tracked since I only played "recreationally" a couple times a week after work. I would say that for a couple month period I probably made about $1500. It more or less allowed me to buy more miscellaneous items. For some reason that I do not recall, I completely quit altogether. It must have been a summer thing because I remember having a lot of fun the summer after being 21 so thats probably why I didn't play a lot of poker. In August or so I played the $200 again. I don't really recall much at the time, but I probably posted a small loss overall after playing a few sessions. I know that because I got really upset one day and said, "If I am willing to risk $400 a night, I may as well jump into the $400.

My money management is much different now. I have realized that it is critical to have at least 3 buy-ins per your level of play when you walk in to play. If you have only one, you could get very unlucky early on and be forced to leave a really good game that you will eventually be profitable in if you stick it out.

I also wanted to play against tougher competition because I had played against many of the top online tournament players of the day and it always brought out the best in me. Plus the $200 players are horrible and suck out too often.

I made the jump to the $400 on October 6th 2006. The skill level and the game itself jumps dramatically from the limits. Thats why if you walk in to play that game everyday, you need to have $1200 comfortably in your pocket each time you play. Overall, the players are phenomenally better aside from all the Asian gamblers. Some of the regulars in the game, I would consider some of the best cash game players in the world. Aside from those players, I have played with several WSOP bracelet winners, circuit event ring winners, and lots of other great players.

I came into the $400 game and started crushing it. I started off winning 20 out of my first 25 sessions. It was unbelievable. At one point I had won 7 straight trips to Commerce. I have since never put up numbers that gaudy. I only now recognize at how hot I was running back then. In sessions where I won I would routinely flop sets (usually one per session if I was lucky.) hit straights and my nut flushes never seemed to miss. It is a streak that I have since desired experiencing once it ended. I had some unbelievable hands. These types of things never happen anymore. My first big cash game night ever went as such.

I had been playing for about 4 hours and was down $100 on my original buy-in and was card dead the whole session.

Hand 1: Stack $300. Hit trip Jacks on the turn with J 10 against seat 9's pocket kings.

Hand 2: Stack $600.

Seat 9 who had about $2700 in front of him when I sat down has just taken another bad beat and is now on tilt. He is now routinely making $150 raises pre-flop in a $5/$10 game. On this particular hand he only throws in a white chip. He does not announce "raise" and it goes down as a call. It is quite obvious that this has infuriated him that much more. I look down at 8 3 and check a $60 pot.

Flop: 8 8 4. Pot $60

Checks to seat 9 who bets out $50.

I call, and one other caller.

Turn: 8 Pot $210.

Check Check. Seat 9 bets $100. Call Call

River: Q Pot $510

I bet $100, Call, Seat 9 announces all in. I call immediately shoving my chips in Phil Hellmuth style not even considering that there is another player yet to act. Final pot $1500.00

Seat 9 flips over A Q and I show my quads. I scoop.

Hand 3. Another crazy hand with seat 9.

Stack $1600.00

Seat 9 now looks like he wants to kill me for spiking quads on a hand I should have never played due to his own mental error. Keep in mind that I also gave him a bad beat prior so this guy is on crazy monkey tilt now.

Seat 9 raises to $100.

I look down at A A and announce "raise" and throw 3 white chips in the center.

Seat 9 looks at me and thinks about for a minute or so and just calls. I'm pissing balls because I have no idea what he can be calling me with. Anything or K K.

Flop K 8 3 Rainbow. Pot $600.

Seat 9 checks.

I spend about a minute thinking about it and by this time a small crowd has gathered around the table because they had seen 6 white chips in the center before any community cards have been dealt.

I check wanting to see a free card and also want to see how much seat 9 likes his hand on the turn.

Turn: 9 Pot $600.

Seat 9 checks and I determine that seat 9 doesn't like his hand that much.

I bet $300. Seat 9 thinks about for 2 minutes and eventually calls.

River: A Pot $1200.

The nuts. Seat 9 checks and I think about it for a good 2 minutes before announcing all-in. Seat 9 thinks about it for another minute or so before folding. I show my Aces and seat 9 is beside himself. He eventually blows the last $700 on his stack and storms out with his buddies who tried to get him to leave after the quads hand. I leave not long after and leave with a stack of exactly $2000 on only a $400 buy-in. Two sessions later I was sitting on a stack of $1200 and had Aces against Kings all in pre-flop and flopped the Ace. I came up $2064 and to this day that is my biggest come-up ever in a cash game. The very next session I was sitting on a stack of $1000 and hit the nut flush on the river and raised an initial bet of $90 to $190. The games biggest sucker went all-in for $2000 with a jack high flush. I came up $1579 in barely over an hour.

5 sessions later, I went on my greatest winning streak. I posted wins of $339, $409, $671, $458, $984, $387, and $845. That is a consecutive upswing of $5393. My graph looked like this.



After that I posted $1800 in losses and $700 in winnings over the next 5 sessions. That little slump was the worst I had up to this point in the game. The last session and next few were at the Bellagio in the $400-$1000 buy-in $5/10 NL game they had.

I ran really bad in that game. On the very first hand of my second session which was actually a win I had Aces cracked for $600.

In the next session I had flopped a set over set in an un-raised pot where the only set that beat mine was J J which wasn't represented pre-flop. Not to mention, I also played the hand poorly and could have gotten him to lay it down with an all-in bet on the river that I was too scared to make. A bet I would easily make today without even thinking twice about it.

That session ended up being a loss of $1200 which is my worse loss ever. I came home to Commerce and won back the trips losses in about 8 sessions over 8 days. By this point, it was the first time ever that I was playing live poker everyday. This phase of my poker life ended on several small bad runs including one of the worst nights of my poker life.

I had a stack of $1000 and lost a $2000 pot after flopping a full house with K 7 in the SB in an un-raised pot. I got cleaned out by a guy who had 10 10 and hit the best hand on the turn. The final board looked like this: 7 7 K 10 A. All in on the river.

I re-bought and lost a $1500 pot when I flopped a fullhouse with 9 9 and got drawn out on by A 4. Final board: A 9 A 6 4 All in on the flop. I decided to quit poker on April 13 2007 two session after. I decided to go on an indefinite break and had come up $9600 during that time. I think I had about $4000 of it when I stopped playing.

The story of my poker "career"

When I was 16 years old, I was introduced to Texas Hold'em. That game where you get two down cards and 5 community cards are dealt.

Me and my buddies thought we were the shit. Poker had not yet reached the mainstream and we thought we were like our dads kicking back smoking cigarettes/cigars and playing some cards on a Saturday night.

Moneymaker did the whole ESPN thing for 2.5 million dollars yet nothing changed that quickly. We all thought we were really good players playing $5 buy-in tournaments when in reality we were all quite terrible.

By the time most of us had become 18, we started going out to Casino Morongo out in the desert because it was the only casino we knew of that would let us play at under 21.

I got a lot better playing at Morongo against players who weren't my friends. I would say that from the time I was 18-21, I went to Morongo at least 20-30 times. I would estimate that I probably didn't lose more then 5 times in all those sessions. My guess is that I probably came up $1000-$1500 in that time, but none of my stats were tracked back then. I didn't go more often because I was away at college all during that time except during the summers. My biggest triumph at Morongo was when I took 2nd place in the Saturday morning tournament for $500. It was only a $30 buy-in.

When I was 19, I went through some life-changing events and needed some time to kill because that was the mode that I was in. I had heard friends talking about online poker in the past but I knew nothing about it and for the first time I decided to look into it. Boy was I in trouble.

The first site that I found was Empire Poker which was one of the Party Poker skins. I deposited $50 and made $65 dollars the first day and I thought I was the shit. The next day I lost everything in the account and had to re-deposit. I ended up redepositing at least 10 times. It was then that I realized how bad I was really was. Losing that money made me a much better player. I then read a couple books and my game took off. All those guys who claim that they deposited $50 and never looked back and now have millions in the bank can suck my dick. I have gone through so much because of poker and have had so many ups and downs. Someone only depositing $50 and never looking back tells me that from the moment they deposited, they started running really hot. I even heard somewhere that Brian Townsend had to make numerous deposits when he first started. I already have great respect for Brian but hearing that makes me respect him that much more. Same goes for anyone who wins the first live tournament that they have ever played in. Fuck you. How come I never get that lucky?

I came home from college in the summer of 05 and this was the first time I ever started taking poker seriously. I had my big score on Empire when I took first in the nightly $5000 guarantee for $1350. I took 6th only a couple nights later in the 10K rebuy tournament for another $600. A week later I bought into a $55 two table SNG. I had never played a SNG this high before and played like a champion. I took 1st and $400 prize. My account had grown from $50 to $2000. I was moving to Washington DC in January for school and an internship and I decided to call it quits at around the time. I cashed all of the money out except for $170 and went to school. I had started playing on pokerstars and left all the money in pokerstars.

In DC, my neighbor Josh was playing on Pokerstars everday and I started to get that itch again. I really started having a lot of resentments toward DC and started playing online everyday. I sat down and I had $170 in my account. I decided to play a $55 one table SNG. I took first for $225 and never really looked back. I primarily played $22, $33, and $55 SNG's. I played the occassional MTT but stuck mainly with the SNG's. In about a month or so my $170 was now $2000. I then went on my first bad run and my account was all the way down to $1000. I came home for Spring break and Pokerstars had just started running the $20 180 man SNG's. I got to heads up in one and chopped it for $900. I went back to school determined to build upon my $2000 roll.

When I got back, I kept doing poorly. One night something really crazy happened. I was losing my shirt and it was getting to be late at night. I think I was down to about $1300-$1400 or so. I had been taking bad beats all day and couldn't take it anymore. It was 2 in the morning and I had to be at work at 9 in the morning. I decided to take one last shot but I wanted to play against good players so I bought into a $100+9 buy-in MTT. It only attracted 150 players which seemed perfect for me. I only intended to last about an hour or so before going to bed. I ended up watching the sun come up and made the final table. I ended up taking 6th which was good for about $700. I was extremely elated. I think I went to bed at about 6:30 in the morning and decided to take a "power-nap."I woke up about 45 minutes later and felt like dog-shit. I decided to reward my effort from the previous night by calling in sick and taking the day for myself. I went to back to bed and woke up at about 4:00 in the afternoon. The first thing I did when I woke up was I logged on to pokerstars and saw that the $10 rebuys $35K guaranteed was about to start. So I rolled a joint and got super stoned and started the tournament. I did my double re-buy before the start and never re-bought again. I added on at the break and took a stack of 17K into the break. I really had no idea what I was in for but I ended up getting down to the last 12 players and I was the short-stack. I was desperately short-stacked. Everyone was waiting for me to be the next player out so we could get closer to the final table bubble. I stole blinds a few times and got within 11th place. Then my most legendary hand occurred. I had stolen on the last hand and went for it again when I was dealt 8 8 in MP. The BB went all-in and he was in 11th in chips. I thought he thought I was bluffing so I called and he showed queens. I flopped quads and that is my great suck-out story. Unfortunately, I have many more where I am on the bad side of a bad beat that severe. The very next hand I picked up AA and doubled up again. Another round later I limped in the SB with AA and the BB who was playing extremely aggressively went all-in. I called and knocked him out to complete the final table. I was now chipleader with 1.2 million in chips.

I got heads-up with 5iveofakind and 1st was about $10K with second being $5.4K. With such a great disparity in prize money I decided to negotiate even though I had a 3:2 chip-lead. We chopped it up and I took home $7,600. For some reason I decided to be a pussy and was afraid of losing the money so I pretty much quit playing poker altogether even though I had close to $10K sitting in my poker account. I went home from school that summer and had a lot of fun with my new-found wealth. Stay tuned for part II.