No one runs worse at poker then I do.

Oh my God where do I start? I think this might be the worst run I have ever had gambling in my entire life. On 9/24, I final tabled a tournament and made about $900. My Stars bankroll at that point was at $2760. Since then I have run like the stock market. It's not official since I am still playing but right now my bankroll sits at $732 and thats before I buy in to a couple more tournies. Things could not be going worse in the land of football.

I took Tennessee yesterday +11.5 against Georgia which means they couldn't lose the game by more then 12 points. I got in early and the line ended up moving to about 13 or so. Tennessee lost the game by 12 and had I waited a couple days to place the bet I would have won but instead I got in early and lost by a half point. I also took 5-0 Vanderbilt against 1-4 MSU yesterday and not only did Vanderbilt not win the game by 3 points, they didn't even win the game. Right now, Dallas just had a punt blocked in OT and Arizona scored a TD on the same play and I just lost that game as well. I don't even want to look at my account by I am now down about $500 overall since I started betting on sports. That puts my gambling downswing at $2500. My worst downswing ever was $3000 playing live poker but I was risking thousands of dollars on a daily basis so that is to be expected. This is much worse because it is over a longer time period and it is happening much slower so it's a lot more painful.

Fuck poker. I just needed to say that.

If you want to know what its like to be me as a poker player then do the following. Go to www.sharkscope.com and search CUgold61 under PokerStars.

I started playing again recently on Stars at around game 400 right where it flatlines. In the last 3 days I have played about 90 games or so at the last "peak" in the graph. In that time, I haven't won a single SNG and have only gotten 2 seconds. The games that I'm playing are 18 man and 45 man turbos.

I could not be running worse in these stupid ass things. These stupid ass things are the main reason for the most recent part of my slide on Stars.

In those 3 days I have gotten into this situation all in preflop and have lost about 70 times. That is AK vs AQ or worse. I obviously don't have AK every time that I have lost but I have lost in that situation about 70 times in the last 3 days. On the flip side when I have been behind I have won about 12 of them. Remember the numbers do not add up in poker. That, or my account has a Pokerstars inflicted curse. I really wouldn't be surprised if my account was cursed because this is all the same crap I use to go through way back when I played on Stars.

I also had KK vs. AA 15 consecutive times before I had AA vs KK a little while ago today. I have never had a run like that with AA vs KK but of course I can be on the bad end of it. Never once in those 15 did I suck out.

I also am getting really fucking frustrated with the big field MTT's. No one goes farther in these things more often then I do without ever getting a payday. I have only played 42 MTT's this month and have the following results.

28/1962
57/3204
54/3483
30/4995

For the players who win a lot online, I want to know: How do you do it? I always run out of cards, take a bad beat, or get it in with an inferior hand because I am shortstacked and never suck out. It happens every time. I am never big stack when there are 30 players left. I am always one of the shortstacks. The 30/4995 happened earlier today and I ran really well throughout the tournament and really thought I was going to make the final table.

Of course I ran out of cards and shoved 10 8 on the button with 10 big blinds when it was folded to me. It was the first time the entire tournament that I did this and of course the small blind has AQ. He calls and the flop comes J 10 x. I knew not to celebrate because I know who I am and know that I am the king of the suckout followed by the re-suckout. Of course he hit the king on the turn giving him the nuts and I was drawing dead. Hey pokerstars, why don't you let me win one those just once or actually give me a couple of good hands when the blinds get enoromous. Why do my cards alwasy die when the blinds get really big? Please, you have no idea how frustrating it is to go that far so often and too never get a cash. It's fucking bullshit.

Also, I would like to tell everyone how smart I am. Today I played in the Top 1000 TLB tournament. It was awesome, only 600 players showed up so 1st place was a lot bigger then it should have been. This was easily the hardest tournament I have ever played in. It's very boring to play in a tourney when there are no donks. There was no action and no one was giving away any chips. Every time I raised, they folded and if they called or 3 bet I knew I was in trouble. Early in the tournament I folded QQ preflop because some guy who was a supernova shoved all in over my 3 bet. I knew that he had AA KK or AK and I wasn't going to call and find out if I was flipping a coin that I know I am going to lose so I just pitched it.

Anyway, I totally called the way I was going to get knocked out. We were about 1 hour and 45 minutes in and I had about 15 BB and I overshoved with JJ. I got called by QQ and of course theres the cooler that I predicted.

At this point, I am probably not going to go to Las Vegas next summer. What the hell for? I am probably going to run like shit anyway. I can see it now. I'll be in some WSOP event and I'll go all in with AA and get called by some stupid farmer from Nebraska or some idiot from Arkansas who's a plumber and he'll have A 7 off and hit two sevens on the flop. So unless my luck turns around which I don't expect it too then the WSOP can kiss my ass.

Also, I am never paying off my debts ever again with poker money. This is the 3rd time that I have paid off most of my debts and followed that by a vicious downswing. I had about 18K to my name and thought it would be a good idea to erase 5K worth of credit debt/court fines. But of course like every other time I pay debts, I end up losing everything else and go back into debt. So never again am I paying that shit off with poker money. I still have well over 10K to my name and if it weren't for having a job I would probably be close to busto.

If I lose another couple grand, I will probably quit for good and invest the rest of my bankroll in the stock/commodities market after things bottom out. I keep hearing that if Obama wins the presidency that he will spend us into oblivion and the market will tank really hard. People made millions after the last depression so go Obama if I have the chance to make more money.

UPDATE: Unfucking believable. I typed the original message at around 4:00 in the afternoon. Was watching the Sunday Million final table to see how these guys play with monster money on the line. Decided to play in a couple $11 180 man turbo tournaments. This is seriously the story of my life. Got knocked out of the first one right away. Did something stupid. Can't remember what. Ended up taking first in the second one and won $594. Ran sick hot the entire tournament and didn't take a single bad beat. I'm obviously relieved as I have made back a big chunk of my weekend poker losses. But why do I always win in small events? Just one time, I want to win one of the bigger ones like one of the rebuys. Oh well, this only adds more fuel to my fire. Maybe things will turn around. Also, for the last 2 days I'm like 19 for 20 in this situation. 7 7 vs. AK. I have never run that well in those kind of coinflips. However, I am losing most of my coinflips on the other side but thats ok because I am tired of losing 80% of the time when I have the pocket pair. My bankroll now sits at $1288.