Weeks 8/9 40K hands breakeven

I have gotten to this exact point for the fourth time in the last two years. I always start from scratch and end up with the kind of money I have right now. That's somewhere in the 7K-9K range. That also includes money that is used for life expenses and whatnot. And just like those other 3 times I have completely stopped making money. The only difference between this time and the other times is rakeback and the fact that I am not living off the money that I am using to gamble.

I have not written lately because I have been so disgusted with everything lately.

I started the month off at $5499 in my account.

I have gotten up to $6550 on two separate occassions. I have fallen all the way to even on two separate occassions and have fallen as low as $5220. I have crossed 6K about 6 different times and still can't keep a winning pace.

Right now I am at $5494 which puts me even. Fortunately, I have rakeback and I have made $1100 from the rakeback which is my savior. In total I have $6600 and at my highest I was at a combined $7100 even though I have dealt with a 13 buy-in downswing over the week or so.

The hands that people have been showing down against me has been absolutely laughable.

In the last two days, people have shown up with these hands and have beaten me in very large pots.

K 2, 2 6, 10 4, 9 5, K 5, K 3 and a few others that I would like to forget. It's is very obvious as to why my continuation bets works so well.

I had a hand yesterday where I had a pair and a chance at a runner runner flush draw. We get all-in and all the other guy has is a bigger flush draw. A flush draw that isn't even there yet. Over the last week, I have not hit one runner runner. Of course the runner runner comes and I am also holding two of the suit so I also hit the flush but of course its flush over flush and I lose.

I have had set over set 3 times over the last couple days and lost 2 of those.

I very rarely take coolers but take them all the time. When I get a big hand, I only win a $25 pot. And anytime a pot reaches $200+ I lose almost every time.

As a result of all this I have become apathetic, all I want to do is play poker and smoke weed which is why I am playing a record breaking number of hands.

I'm going to stop complaining now and get back to the tables.