March

March has come and gone and we are already a quarter of the way through the New Year. Already the year has been a let down for me which is making me really disappointed.

March was an interesting month for a lot of reasons.

If one day I end up becoming really successful, it is months like this one that I will look back on and will realize that the adversity that I have faced will make me the person that I am trying to become.

The first half of the month I had no more then $10 on me at any given time. I was living off my credit cards and things were not looking good. My attempts at finding a job were entirely unsuccessful and things in that department were depressing for most of the month.

I decided to take a big gamble. It was something that was not very intelligent when I look back on it but I felt it had to be done. Every month $75 gets pulled from my checking account and goes directly into my savings. That amount had accumulated to $675 and although that money was going to go toward my rent and other bills, I decided to withdraw it and take my shot at Commerce. I pulled out $600 and had 3 buy-ins to play with.

On my very first trip to Commerce, I lasted less then an hour. I didn't win a single pot and failed to make any hand until my last hand of the session. On my last hand I flopped a flush with 9 10 of clubs and got cleaned out by a guy who held J 3 of clubs. Standard. As you can imagine I was pretty worried. I went home and decided what my best plan of attack should be. I ended up going on a nice run for the next week and ended up finishing up $600 for the week.

I then got sick.

Oh man, what a terrible time I had. I was finally starting to pick up some momentum and just like that I had to completely stop everything in my life for over a week.

I got over being sick and started playing again. My $600 profit ended up turning into $1800 in profit and it was looking like I was back.

Of course, the same standard shit happened and I dropped $900 in my next 8 hours of poker. The rent is due tomorrow and I now no longer have nothing to play with.

Fortunately, my job prospects are looking the best they have looked during all this time and hopefully I can start playing again when I get hooked up with my job. I will know for sure on Wednesday. If for some reason I don't get the job on Wednesday I am going to be totally fucked and I will have no idea what to do. I barely have enough money to pay all my bills for the month however I won't have the money to make the rent. I do not have money to gamble with so if the job ends up falling through I am going to be in serious trouble. Not only that, but I fear for myself mentally if things don't work out.

Here are my graphs for the month of March.



For the month of March, I made $887 in 35 hours for an hourly rate of $25.32

Here's is my updated 6 months graph.



Here is my updated all-time graph.

Thank you Mr. Murphy for crashing me back to reality

Today Murphy's Law was in full effect. Everything that could go wrong did. My last two weeks of play I have been winning, but I would say that I have run average. I've had a few hands hold up and I've hit the board when I've needed too in a couple of all-in situations.

Everyday when I play, I see at least one person who is being smacked in the face by the deck. I on the other hand, have days like that probably once every six months.

For the last month or so that I have been playing, everything has been really difficult. I have had a couple of sessions where things came pretty easy but for the most part I struggle just to win a pot.

For the last week or so, I haven't been dealt anything. It's amazing that I even managed to eke out a couple of wins. Waiting 45 minutes to win my first hand has become the norm and I get no action when I raise because they all know I have something when I do. On the flip side, it seems that every time I try to make a play with a BS hand everyone comes in with me and I miss the board every time.

Today was one of the worst days that I have had in a long time. Like I mentioned above, it took me a really long time to win a hand and for like the 6th straight session I've been chipped away to a really short-stack. I picked up a few decent pre-flop hands however I missed the board every time and before I knew it I was down to my last $60 and was all-in with A 9. I put it in with that hand because there was a pre-flop raise to $15 and a single caller. I figured that both players were weak and that they would just fold. Of course, the original raiser had to have A Q and he held up. I did something that I have not done lately and that is rebuying into the game. I did it because the game was good and I was sure that I would be able to get it back and a little bit more. It was really just a matter of catching a couple of cards.

On my second stack I flopped a top pair and called a bet that was called by several other players. I didn't get crazy because I only had 10 8 so there were kicker issues. The turn completed the flush and everyone checked to me on the button. I decided to take a stab at it and of course got raised all-in and he showed the nut-flush. Standard.

I then had A J run into A K but I lost the minimum.

I then had 10 10 run into Q Q and once again I lost the minimum by folding pre-flop.

I also had a 2nd nut flush draw run into the nut flush draw but I laid it down on the flop once again losing the bare minimum. The flush obviously didn't come.

I attempted one more bluff, the other being when I had top pair and went for it when the flush came. Once again the same guy ended up turning the nuts on me for the second time and went all-in again. I got no cards almost the whole time and tried to bluff twice and went for 0 for 2.

The only thing that kept my stack alive was the guy to my right was making a lot of ridiculous raises when there were lots of limpers. He would raise to $40-$60 hoping everyone would fold. He would only do this when he was in the blinds. It worked pretty much every time but on 4 separate occasions I went all-in and he folded each time. That alone was what kept my stack alive through all of this. At one point my stack had grown to $320 and I was only down $80 session. I really wish I would have just picked up there and tried for another day because I wouldn't be writing all this.

My $320 dwindled all the way to $80 due to the hands I talked about above and then I got it back to up $170. I then took my last cooler of the session. There was a preflop raise to $25 and I found A K. I didn't feel like getting crazy and only called along with several other callers. The flop came K high and I check-raised all-in. He called and showed A A. Standard.

I also picked up A A once but got no action.

I took a $400 loss and my new downswing has reached $600 and I am suddenly not doing so well money-wise.

I went back at around midnight hoping to have a turn-around but things only got worse.

Immediately I started getting chipped away and once again my stack was starting to get short. I decided to make a pre-flop raise for the first time and of course it shit all over my face. I found J 8 of hearts which is one of my favorite hands and no one had bet before me so I figured I would win the $7 by raising in the CO. Of course the BB and SB both called and I missed on a safe flop. K 9 9. Both players checked immediately and I made it $35 to go. Of course the SB raised me to $100 and I had to throw it away. I was down to my last $85.

I picked up A A and once again got no action. I won $17.

Then my last hand of the night left one of the worst tastes in my mouth. I made a ridiculous call only for the poker gods to reward the other player.

I had re-bought for another $100 to increase my stack to $200 which put me $300 deep in the game.

I'm not going to lie, I was starting to lose my patience. The last 10 hours of poker have been absolutely brutal and I am tired of folding every hand. I found K J in the CO and there were several limpers. I rasied to $25 hoping to steal the blinds and antes but I got called 4 ways. As usual I whiffed the flop and the board came 9 7 6 with two spades. Everyone checked to me and I know from previous experience that betting on this board with this many players wasn't smart but I didn't care. I made it $60 to go and I got called by the SB. Another player asked me how much I had left and I knew that I was in a lot of trouble. Fortunately, I could tell that he was worried about the SB so he threw it away. The turn brought the King of spades completing the flush and the SB immediately put his whole stack of $250 in the middle. I just laughed and commented on how typical that play was. I have had this happen so many times, and so many times they don't have the hand that they are trying to represent.

This is exactly what happened in that hand I had a couple weeks ago where I flopped a set of 4's and got bluffed out by a two pair. I know that if this guy had a flush he would have waited for me to hang myself. Instead he put it all in quicker then I have ever seen anybody put it in before. I told him that I didn't think he had a flush and called him with my top pair and the river came:

Q spades. There are now 4 spades and I don't have a spade. Standard.

I flip over my K J and he shows Q Q and hit a 2 outer. Standard.

I am now down $900 for the last 24 hours which almost cashes me out. I think I will take one more shot tomorrow but after that I have to pay the rent and don't know if I will be able to play anymore. The pizza kitchen better come through next week because if it doesn't I'm going to be fucked.

After winning three in a row, I have now lost 3 in a row. Of course thats obviously justice. I use to find poker to be a really easy game but as I learn more and see more hands, the game only becomes more and more difficult for me.

Here is my standard break-even graph.

A really disappointing session

At around 9:30 this morning my phone started ringing. I did not know that it was only 9:30, but I refuse to ever get up out of bed for a phone call. I'm sure that makes me a complete asshole but I would rather get my sleep then talk to anybody. I let it ring out and knew that if they left a message that it would be important enough for a call-back. I have two other phone calls to return but I have been very lazy and have been delighting myself in my own isolation and have not cared for other human contact lately. I know, I'm a fucking weirdo but I can't change my wiring.

I woke up at about noon and listened to the message that had been left 3 hours earlier. The person on the other end of the line completely surprised the shit out of me. It was the Pizza Kitchen trying to schedule an interview.

I went on the interview a couple hours later and it looks like I am finally going to get a job. I am very relieved because I am tired of destroying my bankroll every month to pay bills.

I went to Commerce earlier this evening in an extremely good mood. My job prospects are finally looking on the up-side and I would be going for my 4th straight winning session. Something which has not happened in a very long time. I was going for several personal bests as well tonight.

A win of $200 would get me the following:
1. $9000+ profit in the $3/$5 game at Commerce.
2. $18,000+ in overall profit for live cash games.
3. $2000+ profit for the month of March.

When I got to my table, I had a choice between two seats. Seat 5 was just screaming "I'm a fish, please sit to my left." I took the seat to his left and I could not be more right about the way this guy played.

The very first hand I was dealt I found J J. I made it $25 to go in the CO. The flop came A Q x w/2 spades and there was no way that I was even going to bother bluffing at it. I saw a free turn and folded to a bet and a call.

That was the last decent hand I would get for over an hour.

About 70 minutes in and a stack of only $105 I found 10 10 and made it $35 to go.

I got one caller from a loose player and the flop came

A J x

I put it all in because I felt the only thing my opponent could call me with was a big Ace and he had only limped in the pot so the chances of him having a hand like 7 8 suited were much great then an A Q or A 10 type of hand. I was right and he folded and I won my first pot of the session.

I still got nothing to play with and missed every board when I finally found A K two hours into the session. There were 4 limpers including the big sucker on the table who was calling every all-in with any two cards and doubling everyone up. I put it all in for $85 and I got called by 8 8 and 10 10.

I won the coin-flip when I spiked a K on the turn and just like that I had $270 in front of me.

Unfortunately that would be the last pot that I would win outright for the rest of the night.

The other two hands that I went to showdown with were a top pair of queens but the guy that I was up against caught runner-runner and we ended up chopping it since our kickers didn't play.

The other hand was brutal.

I raised to $25 with 10 10 again and got several callers. The flop came

2 3 4 with 2 clubs.

I put it all in and got called by the big fish.

Turn A

River 5

He showed 9 9 and once again we chopped.

Yeah, I was pissed.

Tonight was probably one of the worst nights I ever had in terms of getting a cold deck.

I won 2 hands in 3.5 hours. I chopped two others and only twice the entire night I flopped a top pair. I lost one after getting outdrawn by a gut-shot straight where I lost the minimum and the other was the queens hand where I chopped.

I am really disappointed that I couldn't make it 4 in a row and its really upsetting that I never even really got a chance to play since I spent the entire session folding one hand after another. Something that has been way to common as of late. Hopefully tomorrow will serve me better.

Winning feels so damn good.

Winning 3 sessions consecutively has been an absolute rarity in the last few months. March has been a great month thus far because I have already had 3 opportunities to win 3 straight sessions. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to come through and get the win each time.

Tonight was my 4th chance to go for three in a row.

I started off not getting a whole lot to play with but got a chance to watch the table for a while. After about 30 hands or so I was still even and was actually contemplating a table change because there wasn't anybody on the table who looked beatable. Everyone seemed pretty solid and no one had done anything irrational.

I decided to stick it out as the table filled back up to 9 after being as low as 6. The table loosened up considerably and now it was a matter of catching a decent hand.

I picked up A 9 and raised to $25 in late position with only one limper hoping to only steal the blinds and antes and ended up getting called by the button. I whiffed the flop:

J 2 2

Since it was heads up and the board wasn't really that scary and I looked tight to the table, a continuation bet was mandatory.

The button who is a really strong player raises my $35 bet to $100. With nothing and a bet of $100 in front of me I had to fold immediately.

Just like that my stack was already down to $120 and I was quite discouraged as to how the night was turning out.

I went into playing super-tight mode hoping that I could catch a big hand. Something I use to never do.

It is amazing how quickly fortunes can change in this game.

I picked up J J and almost the whole table had limped and in I made it $30 to go in the SB. I expected 3 callers max but every player in the hand called the raise. I think we took the flop 7 handed if not 8 handed.

Because of my tight play I still had $80 behind and was not pot-committed so I would be able to fold to a bad flop.

The flop ended up being terrible.

Q 9 7 w/2 clubs.

I was first to act and couldn't push because I figured at least one player had at least a queen and my best case scenario is someone having a flush draw. I checked hoping to see a free card. Luckily everyone else checked and an unsuited Jack peeled off on the turn.

I now had the 2nd best possible hand since the only thing that was now beating me was K 10 and 8 10. Q Q isn't out there since there was no bet on the flop. I pushed all-in and the guy sitting right next to me called. I was pretty happy because he had been playing extremely loose and I figured he was drawing very thin. No one else called and my Jacks beat his top pair.

I went from a stack of $110 to $359 in just one shot. I picked up a couple small pots here and there and grew my stack to a little over $400. I then picked up another big hand. I found J 10 of diamonds and only limped hoping to see a cheap flop. I hit the flop huge.

3 7 8 w/ 2 diamonds

A player in front of me bet out $20 and I just called hoping to hit a flush or straight just one time. Turn

7 diamonds.

A great card but a little scary at the same time since a hand like 7 8 is very possible.

The bettor checks and I make it $35 to go.

He raises me to $100 and I figure he has a dry 7 and is drawing to a full house.

I called and a black queen came on the river.

He checked and there was enough money in the pot and I just wanted to show it down since the only hand that is calling me on the river is probably beating me.

He showed the 7 and mucked. I was up to $540 and was feeling really good about taking down my third session in a row.

I ended up leaving after a little under 2 hours and left with a profit of $304.

I really hate to say it but this whole playing tight thing is working and it looks like this I am going to keep this up for a while. I hated leaving early again since a really big night is possible but my bankroll is too small to risk it at this point but it is nice to have some cash again.

I am now up to $1787 in profit for the month of March which is the highest I have been up since November. I have won 3 in a row and 9 of 12.

I feel really good about the way things are going and look forward to making it 4 in a row tomorrow. I feel really good about the way I have played. I really haven't made any mistakes and have seen multiple spots where I would have gotten myself in trouble a few weeks ago. I have been very good about the hands I have played and the way I have been able to control the pots and have kept myself out of dangerous situations. Combine that with the fact that my hands are starting to hold up now. That is probably what feels the best.

Winning consistently in a tough game.

I have played 296.5 hours in the $3/$5 NL $200 max buy-in game at the Commerce and I have come to a conclusion. It is a really tough game. Now, anyone who has actually sat down and played in this game will think I am crazy for that assertion. But the truth is, this game is a lot tougher then I use to think. It's not because of the people who play in it but for the way that the game is designed.

1. In a game with a BB of $5 you should be allowed to buy in for a max of $500. Why? Any game you sit down in, you should be allowed to buy in for 100 BB's. If you sit down in any game in Las Vegas, this is how it's going to be. In Vegas, when you sit down at a $200 max buy-in game the blinds are going to be $1/$2. The game at Commerce is a short-stackers game and it forces you to play a little tighter and with a little more discipline. As a result, there is a certain way that you should play this game.

For a very long time, I was playing my loose style but it does not work when you are only buying in for $200. If you miss a couple flops, you are going to be short-stacked very quickly. A bad beat here and there and suddenly you are playing from behind. It has taken me a while, but I have finally found a somewhat optimal way of playing this game. Table selection is critical and hand selection is even more important. I hate to say it, but you need to play tight when you are first sitting down. You probably should not open your game up at all until you have at least $400 in front of you. Although, I haven't played nearly as much, my results are starting to improve as a result of my better hand selection.

2. This one is an even more important factor then the last one. The rake. The rake at Commerce is terrible. For a $200 game they rake $6 per pot. $5 for the house and another $1 for the jackpot drop. Lately I have been very observant of stack sizes and I have noticed that there are very few people beating this game. Every table I sit at, there are a few stacks under $200 and the stacks that are over $200 are usually in for more then the minimum. The last few tables I have sat on, there have only been an average of 2 players actually beating the game. This alone has made me realize how hard it really is to beat this game on a regular basis.

I am proud to say that in my 296.5 hours of play I am up $8653.00. I am only now starting to realize the significance of that number.

My most recent session went well and I was able to make a nice hit and run.

On only the second hand, I was dealt K K and I feel I played it to perfection. There were several limpers and I made it $30 to go in the SB. Unfortunately all 3 limpers called. Prior to the flop, I checked in the dark ala Phil Hellmuth and the flop came

J 2 3 rainbow.

The first player to act made it $100 to go and the others folded. I hate having to do it on only my second hand but I put the rest of it in and he called and showed A J. I held up and more then doubled up.

A few hands later I found A A in the BB and 3 bet to $100. Everyone folded and I picked up another $50 in profit.

I left an hour later with a profit of $276 and am now up just shy of $1500 for the month.

Although, I have run much better more recently, I still credit my hand selection for my success. I am not playing as many of my stupid hands and I generally have more chips to play with when dealt a real hand.

Patience Prevails

I am finally better. I would say I am between 90-95%. The only problem I still have is that I have a recurring cough which is quite annoying. The doctor told me that I would have a cough for a week after I got better so hopefully thats as long as it lasts. Although I have been extremely tempted, I have been able to lay off the smoke and I am very proud of that. I don't plan on smoking again until I am sure that I am completely healthy.

I have since put in 4 sessions at Commerce over the last 4 days. My sessions have gone as follows: +$287, +$117, -$200, and +$335.

I really don't remember much about the first session but I remember one of my last hands, I came up $100 when I was dealt A A and got all-in with a short stack who had A J. I held up and left not long after.

The next 3 sessions have been incredibly interesting. For one, I have given bad beats in each of the last 3 sessions. I know. Unbelievable. Right?

In the session where I came up $117, I was dealt no cards the entire session and I was down to my last $110 or so. I was playing on one of those crazy gambler tables where almost every hand is an all-in. For some reason I always lose when I play on these tables when in reality these should be my most profitable tables. Like most of the times I get seated at one of these tables I could not find a playable hand.

I found A K and pushed all-in for $110. I got called by two players who were playing crazy the entire time. The flop came Q high and on the river I hit my Ace. One of the players showed K Q and the other showed 8 7. Even though I got sucked out on the flop I finally hit the standard 3 outer on the river and I tripled up. In the next 15 minutes after that hand, all of the wild loose players got up from the table and since the action was dead I decided to leave with a very small win.

The next session which was my only loss of the 4 was similar to the last one. I was dealt no cards and got all-in once again with an A K with a stack of $80. I hit an A on the river and I cracked pocket kings. Another 3 outer. Unbelievable. The last hand of the session I tried sucking out on the worst player on the table but as usual I can't hit a flush to save my life. The worst player on the table raised to $20 and I along with several others called with an A 8 of diamonds. I flopped the nut flush draw and got all-in with the suckers pocket 10's. I couldn't suck out in the $400 and I took a loss.

Today's session was like the others. I got no cards. Unlike the other 3, I stuck it out for 4.5 hours which is the longest session I have had for the entire month of March. I kept my discipline up and waited for my spots. I finally won a good hand when my pocket kings held up against some random hand and I was up to $400. I finally started getting cards but every time I would raise pre-flop I would get the worst flop possible and would face resistance. Within an hour I was already back down to my original $200 starting stack. My second big hand of the session came when UTG raised to $20. I was pretty sure he was really strong but everyone else called and I had K Q of diamonds which looked like pocket aces considering all the crap I've been getting for the whole week. The board came 8 high and I flopped a flush draw and UTG went all-in for $129. I put the rest of my stack in for about $150 and the biggest stack also called my all-in. There was one more player to act and he mucked two diamonds face up. Great.

On the turn I hit my queen and that was all I needed and I scooped the $500+ pot. UTG showed J J and was complaining about how terrible my call was. He can say whatever he wants but I am a 54% favorite on that flop. I attribute my most recent win to my patience. It was unbelievably hard to sit for 4.5 hours and fold almost every hand. I have been picking my spots very well lately and have been doing a very good job of avoiding marginal situations. If I can actually start hitting some straights and flushes I will be in much better shape.

As of right now, I am up $1207 in 25 hours of play. That adds up to $48.22 per hour which is by far my best hourly rate since November. Hopefully things continue this way.

The shittiest week ever

I do not know exactly what happened. I was sick last Saturday and then on Sunday, I felt much better. I was probably around 85% but thats good enough for me to do my usual shit. I woke up on Monday and felt far worse then I did on Saturday. I am not sure if I was sick twice, had a relapse, or if it's all just been one sickness with Sunday being somewhat of a dormant day. Either way, when I woke up on Monday it was the worst I have ever felt. Like Saturday, once again I was completely out of commission and had to let another day go completely to waste.

When I woke up Tuesday, I think I may have actually felt worse and I went to the doctor. The doctor told me I had the flu. It turns out that I have never had the flu before. I have only had the stomach flu which is not the influenza virus as we all know it but instead it is just a stomach virus. All I can say about having the flu is that I hope I never have to deal with this again. I have never felt worse or been more sick in my entire life then I have been this week.

I am still sick and I am waiting to get over this. When I went to the doctor I was given 3 more medications to take. I started taking them and I started feeling better. Of course one of the medications had to have a brutal side effect. The cough syrup I was taking was making it impossible to urinate although I would still have the urge to go. As you can imagine, as soon as I found out which medicine was the culprit I stopped taking it.

Over the last week, I have barely eaten, had a horrible cough, a sore throat, body aches, headaches, and at times haven't been able to take a piss. Some of the things that have come out of my body in the last week have been downright scary. On Wednesday I slept for 17 hours.

I have wasted yet another week of my life which I have done so many times over the last year or two. I feel so much of my young life getting away from me and if something good doesn't start happening soon I feel that I will wake up tomorrow and I will be 30 and will have pissed everything away.

I am almost where I want to be health wise and not doing anything everyday is starting to kill me. Depending on how I am feeling tomorrow, I will try to make it out to Commerce because I am tired of skating so thin financially. It's time for me to get things back on track. I have to be careful about the decisions I make with my health because I fear a possible relapse.